America's Most Smartest Model VH1 Burned out on that other modeling show, I turned to "America's Next Smartest Model" to give me that wicked schadenfreude about reality show contestants I occasionally crave. Host Ben Stein's ridiculously elaborate goodbye catchphrases ranging from historical military defeats to biological obsolescence ("Like the leg bones of a cetacean mammal, you are now vestigial.") are just gold. Sure, it's funny to see beautiful people stuffing their faces full of Twinkies after missing elementary trivia questions, but what made it for me this season was the Russian (far right, with the abs), Andre Birleanu, whose inability to control his emotions got him trouble time after time. Nevertheless, it's this trait that made him so endearing when he would pump his fist and declare in stentorian tones, "Soviet!"'America's Most Smartest Model' photo courtesy of VH1. Text by Hanh Nguyen.