Mr. Skin may have applauded Marisa Tomei's topless turn in "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead," but the film also yielded one of the least appealing shows of skin thanks to the untoned buttocks of a costar.
Papermag's Cinemaniac, aka Dennis Dermody, compiled his list of the Top 10 Worst Nude Scenes of All Time, inspired by his reaction to the opening scene of "Before the Devil" featuring Philip Seymour Hoffman's backside as he has rigorous sex with Tomei.
As expected, many of the actors on the list receiving this dubious honor are men who never graced the pages of Tiger Beat or whatever teeny bopper mag they had back in the day. There are a few surprises though, including "Grey's Anatomy" star Patrick "McDreamy" Dempsey and three respected actresses.
The list of actors' film scenes to avoid:Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead" - Yes, Tomei's lithe body is in the shot, but it's overshadowed by a Hoffman's fleshy moon. Donald Sutherland in "Space Cowboys" - Older astronauts strip to have a physical, but ol' Don is the only one who lets it all hang out when a lady doctor enters the scene. Kathy Bates in "At Play in the Fields of the Lord" - Yes, she was nude in "About Schmidt," but in this film, she's nude and in motion, running through the Amazon jungle with only mud for covering. Well, at least her pores got tighter. John Gielgud in "Prospero's Books" - Lots of male and female nudity, but Gielgud isn't in his prime when he rises up nude from a pool. Julie Andrews in "S.O.B." - Written and directed by her husband Blake Edwards, the film features Mary Poppins' practically perfect breasts. It's not clear why this is in the bad category because she actually is in good shape, but the scene is rather startling. Burgess Meredith in "Such Good Friends" - Yes, we know he has a serious acting resume, but he'll always be the Penguin to us from the "Batman" series. In this film, he appears in a fantasy sequence (um, why?) in which Dyan Cannon imagines him dancing nude with a book dangling from a chain to cover his genitals. Terry Bradshaw in "Failure to Launch" - He's wearing nothing but his birthday suit while listening to hip-hop and feeding his aquarium fish when his film son, Matthew McConaughey, walks in. Yeah, the context still won't help it make sense either. Jessica Tandy in "Camilla" - Sure the deceased actress was only 70 when she did this film, but that's still a 70-year-old skinny dipping scene that cinema could have done without.Jay North in "Maya" - Yes, the scene in which he towels off after getting doused in the rapids takes place only a few years after he stopped playing that imp Dennis the Menace. Hey, Mr. Wilson! Get some clothes on that boy. Patrick Dempsey in "Some Girls" - He may be McDreamy now, but when he chased Jennifer Connelly around in a full-frontal scene, he wasn't all that impressive. Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun