Lawrence Massey allegedly gutted a deer carcass in a Middletown apartment parking lot, shocking onlookers and releasing a putrid smell. Police told the Middletown Patch website they found Massey, 37, holding a folding knife with blood up to his elbows on both arms. The deer reportedly lay on a plastic tarp, slit open “anus to lower throat” with its innards in a pile. Massey apparently found the carcass on the side of Route 9 and wanted to show his kids how to field strip it.

Driving While Drunk (And Obnoxious): Weston police told the Patch website covering the town they pulled over a glassy-eyed Brandon Dempsky, who responded to an order to submit to a Breathalyzer test with “come and make me” and stated “someone was going to get punched before this was all over.” Dempsky, 39, also allegedly called his girlfriend to say he had been arrested for DUI and it may have been due to the cocktails he drank that morning before turning to an officer and saying, “You didn't hear that.”

A Litchfield Superior Court judge didn't buy the defense of cinematographer Adam Kissel, a Salisbury resident. Kissel, a registered sex offender, violated his probation through an online correspondence with a 16-year-old girl and segued their discussion of film into movies about romances between older men and younger women. Attorneys said Kissel only kept up the conversation so as to not hurt her feelings and tried to arrange an in-person meeting to explain why they couldn't be together, reports the Torrington Register-Citizen. He was sentenced to 120 days in jail.

Luis Santiago Bravo-Morocho apparently drove up to women on the Guilford Green to ask for sex while fondling himself so often that police caught him by sending a plain-clothes female officer to just hang out there a few mornings. A police spokesman told the New Haven Register, “It's kind of been making a lot of women around town uncomfortable while walking in the center of town and running.” (Only “kind of”?)

Police in Hamden were called to escort Juan Boyd Jr. from a public bus after fellow riders said he bragged loudly that he had a gun and was going to “take care of business,” reports the Hamden Patch website. No weapon was found.

Sick, Sad World: Police are looking for a woman who stole a donation jar from a Norwalk nursery school. Surveillance footage shows the woman took the jar, which contained roughly $300 in change and small bills parents donated to the school, in front of her young daughter, according to The Hour.

Sicker, Sadder World: The Connecticut Post reports that the Bridgeport family who lost a 7-year-old in a house fire returned to find their home had been looted.

Careful with the thumbtacks: Julio Perez allegedly walked into the Stratford Shop Rite and tried to shoplift nine deodorant bars, six packages of batteries, two bottles of body wash, nine bars of soap and a box of thumbtacks by stuffing all the items down his sweatpants, police told the Stratford Patch website.

–Compiled by Nick Keppler