Joe Bodolai, former "Saturday Night Live" writer, died in what was ruled a suicide in a Los Angeles hotel room.
He kept a blog called "Say It Ain't So, Joe," where he wrote his last post on Dec. 23 in a section called "Things I Regret." Included was "My inability to conquer my alcoholism" and "That I am no longer able to withstand any more of life's pain."
However, a section of things he's proud of portrays a happy life. He raves about his grown sons, calling them "graceful, intelligent, strong, handsome, creative and loving young men" and his wife Bianca, saying, "If there is a loving god, she was my blessing."
Among his proudest personal moments, Bodolai listed his resistance to the Vietnam War and his campaigning for Robert Kennedy.
Professionally, he was most proud of writing for "SNL", producing videos for Andy Warhol and writing the first draft of "Wayne's World" with Mike Meyers, among other things.
On Dec. 22, he wrote on Facebook, "I'm alone this year and am volunteering serving Christmas dinner to the homeless. Perhaps I will be one, but I love all of you and if I make it to next year let's make it a morally, spiritually, better and funnier year."
He finished the entry by, "I don't need replies or comments or anything. I need to feel the good that I did and whatever good I have ever done for you is enough for me. May you all have the happy lives you deserve. Thank you all for being in my life. Love, Joe."