Who's Gonna Lead?
Last week's announcement that transgender child of the stars, Chaz Bono, would be a contestant on TV's "Dancing With The Stars" has brought some controversy to the show. But it's not just some of the nasty and negative public reaction to Bono's "alternative lifestyle" being "promoted" on network television that's causing the fuss it's Chaz' behind-the-scenes demands. My "DWTS" spies are whispering that Bono, though recently "becoming" a man and teamed with a female partner on the show, doesn't want to "lead" during the dances, as he/she is used to "following," after dancing as a women for most of his/her life. Chaz' BFF tells me he feels he will be all left feet out there if he has to lead during such complex dances as the "Cha-Cha-Cha" and "The Tango." Said Chaz' pal, "Chaz is still getting used to living a new life as a man and all the adjustments that go with it. I mean, he's just getting used to shaving his face every day, scratching his crotch, wearing underpants with a fly, and being able to be on the beach without a shirt on. Now they are expecting him to lead during the 'Fox Trot'? It's just too overwhelming for him. Being a man is more complicated than he thought it would be."
In other "DWTS" dish, I've "over-Snerd" that openly gay Carson Kressley of "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" fame is so giddy about the glittery gowns the gals wear on the show, he is begging producers if he can do his dance sequences in drag! "I look great in an evening gown, and I'd love to show that to the world while tripping the light fantastic," Carson cooed to a confidant.
As the Chicago White Sox quickly fade from contention with less than a month left to the baseball (last week's three straight losses to the first place Detroit Tigers may have sealed their failing fate), the rumors are heating up of mouthy manager Ozzie Guillen leaving the team and heading south to the Florida Marlins. Publicly, Ozzie has denied he wants to leave the Sox' sinking ship, but my sports scoopsters tell me, it may be more than baseball that could lure Ozzie to lead the Florida team. According to a source close to the Sox, "Not too many people in baseball know it, but Ozzie Guillen loves Disney World in Orlando. He's a huge fan of Mickey Mouse (he even has a pair of Mickey Mouse over-sized gloves in his locker), his favorite ride is the "Space Mountain" rollercoaster, and he's in talks with the Disney people to add his home country, Venezuela, to the world offerings of Disney's international EPCOT Center, so he can feel closer to his homeland all year." Ozzie and Mickey Mouse, even Walt couldn't have come up with that odd couple
Cubs Want A Wizard
And I'm hearing some other interesting news from the "other" baseball team in town that also is getting a little downright "magical." I've "over-Snerd" Cubs owner Tom Ricketts was very impressed with a recent "Star Wars Day" promotion by the San Francisco Giants, during which the team showed a pre-game "Star Wars" movie, has "stormtroopers" act as security guards, and encouraged fans attending the game to come dressed at Darth Vader, Yoda or any other iconic character of the sci-fi saga. So much so, that in addition to looking for a new general manager to rebuild the team's lowly stature in the standings, he's ordering his promotion people to devise a "Harry Potter Day" because he believes in addition to a serious baseball man to guide the team, his organization could use some wizardly help to change its future. Ricketts believes having Wrigley Field filled with 40,000 wizards might help to break the 103-year curse. Apparently, Ricketts is a huge fan of the Harry Potter books, and is so desperate, that he's looking for magic bats on the field and magic wands off of it. "Harry is way more powerful than any goat," Ricketts was heard declaring to his staff. Plus, Ricketts has always wanted to dress up like Harry's mentor, Dumbledore. Sounds like the team is heading in the right direction??
First, President Obama had to delay his anticipated jobs creation address to Congress by a day to appease his rival Republican Party, which is holding a debate of potential candidates vying for his job. Then, the "Leader Of The Free World" agreed to deliver his speech 90 minutes earlier than scheduled so he wouldn't interrupt the opening game of the NFL season. But I've "over-Snerd" the "prez" happily delayed the speech from Wednesday to Thursday NOT because of any political posturing or caving into Republican pressure , but rather, because he's a huge fan of TV's "America's Got Talent" and the reality show "Big Brother," and on Wednesday night the final four contestants on both shows will be competing. Says a presidential aide, "The president has been watching these competitions all summer, and now that they are winding down to the finals, he's really hooked. While the president knows the entire country and even the world is anxious for his plans to revive the sagging U.S. economy and get unemployed people back to work, he also believes the citizens will understand his addictions to these popular shows. He just can't get enough of Howie Mandel and he loves to hate Piers Morgan."
Hangin' With Jerry
Of COURSE I was in Las Vegas on Sunday night, spending time at the home of my good pal, Jerry Lewis, as he dealt with the pain of not hosting the MDA telethon for the first time in more than five decades. It was difficult day for Jer, and his wife asked me to keep him company and chat about the old days when Jerry, me, Charlie McCarthy and Edgar Bergen would hang out at The Copa in New York and close every club on 52nd St. I don't know about you, but for Snerd, Labor Day just wasn't the same this year without seeing my great old pal, Jerry Lewis, doing his thing. And I'll never tire of the talents of Norm Crosby, Charo, and Jack Jones. End of an era.
Not celebrating a birthday anymore: The MDA Labor Day Telethon 2011; breathless and lifeless.
Until next time, keep venting!
SNERD - September 7, 2011
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