How any of us thinks he or she has the answers to complicated issues like the Middle East, global economics, healthcare, gun control, abortion, gay marriage or the housing market simply because we watch Fox News, CNN or MSNBC and have an opinion about it.

I can't grasp how big the universe is. Seriously, how can it go on forever?

Why Hollywood studios are incapable of making an original movie. They turn comic books into blockbusters just fine; they do a great job at making pedantic remakes of movies that never should have been remade; they create endless sequels to what were once, perhaps, decent movies. But they are incapable of making an interesting movie with good writing and engaging characters.

Why anyone still writes checks at the supermarket.

I don't understand why everyone who voted for Schwarzenegger, who so vehemently voted out Gray Davis, hasn't gotten together, purchased air time on national TV and jointly apologized for falling for his shtick and voting for him. Twice.

Level 6-12 of Angry Birds. Just can’t get that one damn pig.

How such a successful store as Trader Joe’s can have such crappy parking.

Why “Sister Act 2,” “Tango & Cash” and “Armageddon” always seem to be on TV when I am channel surfing.

Why “Smokey and the Bandit” and “Cannonball Run” aren't on TV more.

How our planet, and life upon it, began. Then again, I don’t really care. We are here now. What are we doing with it, and our time upon it, before we return to dust and ooze?

Lady Gaga.

‘Nuf said.

PATRICK CANEDAY will be signing copies of his book “Crooked Little Birdhouse” tonight from 5 to 8 p.m. at Simply Coffee in Burbank. He may be reached at and