'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the sports world,
Santa was nervous as rampant rumors swirled.
Poor Santa Claus' world was enveloped by scandal.
While the children were nestled all snugly in their beds,
Santa's reputation was being ripped all to shreds.
His world was crumbling; the prospects were grim,
Everywhere he turned, the tabloids badgered him.
He was all over the newspaper, Internet and TV,
On the front page of the Enquirer and that dirty TMZ.
The North Pole Police made sure he was protected from the laws,
But the online Daily Beast reported he was cheating on Mrs. Claus.
It started on Thanksgiving when he came home from the pub,
And Mrs. Claus met him at the front door with a club.
"Hey, Sweetie Pie," he cooed, "you're sure lookin' good,"
Then she whacked him in the teeth with a Big Bertha wood.
She chased him from the house like a furious cyclone,
And screamed, "Who're all these women programmed into your cell phone?"
Santa jumped on his sleigh; he was trying to flee,
'Twas the night before Christmas and TMZ is reporting …
Is Santa cheating on Mrs. Claus?
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