The Town of Trumbull has learned that no one likes Michael Bolton, and the lesson is going to cost them. The town signed the soft-rock singer (best known to anyone under 30 as a punchline in the movie Office Space) to perform at its annual town-sponsored concert at Indian Ledge Park, but sold less than 1,000 tickets. Trumbull needed to sell at least 4,000 to break even, First Selectman Timothy Herbst told the Connecticut Post, so he cancelled the show, which will cost the town $75,000 in fees, though that's better than the $150,000 to $170,000 that it would lose by putting on the show without any additional tickets sold. (Some of the money will come from the $59,000 that went into municipal coffers after its 2010 show, featuring the band Train, made a profit.)

Bad-ass senior citizens: 68-year-old Robert Christensen, who had been banned from public buses for "poor behavior," nonetheless tried to enter one in Fairfield, causing a quick-thinking driver to close the door before he could board. Christensen then allegedly struck the door with his cane, breaking the glass and causing $300 in damage, police told the Fairfield Citizen. Meanwhile, a 78-year-old East Haven man was arrested for allegedly growing marijuana in his garden (and was so brazen about it the plants were reportedly visible from the street). A police spokesperson told the East Haven Patch website that he was growing it strictly for his own use. (Big win, drug war!)

This is why we can't have nice things: The Town of Manchester was considering renovating a 3,230-square-foot log cabin to act as a headquarters for the Citizens Emergency Response Team (an organization that handles search and rescue missions on Case Mountain) but is racking up so many costs in repairs and security due to trespassers, it might just tear down the 95-year-old cabin. Every one of its windows has been smashed and graffiti and beer cans now decorate the interior, town officials told the Hartford Courant. Crews have boarded up the cabin, but trespassers repeatedly rip the boards down. Manchester officials now fear upkeep of the cabin will become a "money pit."

Apparently, in an extreme situation, a person can be arrested for overdue library items. Police say that 58-year-old Nancy Harris, who worked at Easton Public Library, at one point had 121 items, ranging from books to DVDs to magazines and valued at $3,048, checked out of her place of employment. Library Director Bernadette Baldino says that, after many warnings and much pleading, she got Harris to return all but 25 items, worth $385. Harris was charged with fifth-degree larceny and was "allowed to retire from the library," according to the Connecticut Post.

Ken Michelson, Plainville's former water pollution control chief, was arrested for an alleged string of gross misconduct — and we do mean gross. The New Britain Herald reports that, in addition to over-ordering roofing supplies so he could pocket some for his own home, Michelson, 53, is accused of underreporting the nitrogen level of the town's waste water to avoid a fine and failing to report raw sewage runoff in the Pequabuck River. (Michelson, who left the $70,900-a-year position amid the investigation, even reportedly disabled alarms meant to be set off by the contamination.)

Tales from Connecticut Hillbilly Country: "I didn't know what it was at first," George Muttick of Oxford told the Connecticut Post. "It jumped out and hit the rear driver's side of my truck. I could feel the impact." "It" turned out to be a 250-pound black bear, which died from the collision. Muttick, 24, smiled and posed for a photo holding the bear's lifeless head (as if he had accomplished something). He is also taking advantage of an obscure state law allowing drivers to keep roadkill (as long as it is a bear, deer or moose) and having the bear's hide turned into a rug.

The Middletown Fire Department has warned Dionisio Lopez several times about starting fires in his apartment, police told the Middletown Patch website. When Lopez, 35, reportedly lit up a batch of twigs, two brothers who live in the same building, Edward Zalewski and Carl J. Mayberry, allegedly confronted him, Zalewski with a baseball bat and Mayberry with a 14-inch sword. Witnesses claim the two brothers, 42 and 44, chased Lopez with the weapons, and police say they found several "slice" marks in his apartment. All three were arrested on various charges.

An unnamed juvenile claims he felt "retarded" after smoking K-2, a brand of "synthetic marijuana" incense, and this is why he punched his friend Darren A. Carey, 25, as Carey was driving, causing him to lose control of his van and crash it in Torrington, police told the town's Register-Citizen newspaper.

Police say that "alcohol was a contributing factor" in a 22-year-old man falling down an embankment on a visit to Westport's downtown riverwalk. Instead of asking a female friend still on the shore to call for help, the man allegedly decided to go for a swim. Eventually she did call police, who found him 250 yards away, reports The Hour.