State Rep. Christina Ayala's car and boyfriend have caused her nothing but trouble recently. Now one has made sure the other isn't a problem anymore. Last year, first-time candidate Ayala was charged with a hit-and-run in Bridgeport weeks before Election Day. This didn't phase a city that routinely sees its leaders jailed for corruption, so Ayala, 29, still won the 128th Assembly District seat. Before she was even sworn in, she was arrested again, this time on assault charges, for an alleged spat with her beau, Pedro Rodriguez. While many politicians let elected office change them, Ayala is apparently still the same charmer. Rodriguez's new girlfriend, Alessandra Reyes, claims the lawmaker has been sending her antagonistic text messages. "I'm his lady ir [sic] his hoe!" read one that Reyes shared with the Connecticut Post. (The paper, which confirmed the texts came from Ayala's number, said some "were too sexually explicit to publish.") Reyes claims Ayala and her sister jumped her at a Bridgeport bar last week, pulling her hair and punching her. This is what apparently caused Rodriguez, 37, to douse two cars, Ayala's Nissan 2007 Sentra and her sister's 1995 Toyota Camry, with gasoline and set them ablaze.

A woman staggered to the front desk of the Hartford Downtown Marriott with red marks on her neck and a bruise on her head. At the hospital, she allegedly claimed she got into an argument with her boyfriend, former NFL player Hugh Douglas, and as she tried to leave, he grabbed her by the neck and throttled her as he dragged her back to their room. Douglas, 42, gave police the explanation that he bruised her neck during rough sex and later she simply fell in the hallway. He was nonetheless arrested on assault and strangulation charges, reports the Hartford Courant. Douglas has a history of ugly confrontations; the Philadelphia Eagles dropped him after a locker-room fistfight with teammate Terrell Owens and he was fired from his gig as an ESPN commentator after he allegedly got drunk and called a black colleague an "Uncle Tom."

All the addicts and sex fiends in East Haven have found a new den of sin to inhabit: the playground of East Haven Elementary School. Just when you thought the town with the corrupt, racist cops and dumb, taco-eating mayor couldn't get any more ridiculous, evidence of drug use and hook-ups has surfaced where its children play by day. "I found porn. I found a vibrator. I found lubricant packages, drug paraphernalia," one mother told WTNH. She says her son told her he discovered "a fashion magazine with naked people" at the playground. The area is not lit at night and the one surveillance camera overlooking it does not work, making it a magnet for East Haven's seedier elements.

Overreactions: Two strangers were chatting in the women's bathroom of the Sunset Cafe in Simsbury when one told the other the shade of lipstick she was wearing didn't look good on her. Later, on the dance floor, the woman in the mismatched lipstick came up behind the fashion critic and slashed her in the face with some sharp object, police told the Hartford Courant. (The attacker has not been identified and the victim was not seriously hurt.) Meanwhile, 23-year-old Jeffrey Gilleski of Stamford did not appreciate the catcalls directed at his girlfriend coming from the car beside them, so he allegedly whipped out a BB gun, turned and put his finger over his lips, reports the Stamford Advocate.

A traffic stop in Middletown allegedly led to the discovery of $7,500 worth of marijuana — much of it baked into desserts. Police told the Middletown Patch website that Michael R. Mikolinski's trunk contained a bake sale's worth of lollipops, bell-shaped chocolates and Twinkie-like cakes, all laced with THC. Mikolinski, 23, reportedly said his mother gave the treats and the secret ingredient was a surprise to him. The $3,526 he was carrying was apparently also from her, so he could pay his rent (because most landlords like to be paid in large, mysterious wads of cash).

Timothy Skinner came upon the horrible, terrible, awful, very stupid idea of leaving a replica of a pipe bomb at his workplace, Environmental Services of Wallingford, as a prank, police told the Hartford Courant. A police spokesperson said Skinner, 35, apparently put a lot of effort into the item, adding wires and a gauge resembling a timer. He allegedly left it in a toolbox to be found. Even as the building was being evacuated and a police bomb squad was called in, Skinner still apparently thought the whole thing was hilarious and did not volunteer it was a hoax.

Other people who will not be September's "Employee of the Month" anywhere: Ryan Thomas was drinking with cowokers at a Danbury bar when an argument led Thomas, 22, to pull out the handgun he was carrying, police told the Danbury News-Times. And Sang Park, a 55-year-old employee of the Food Bazaar in Bridgeport, allegedly responded to a coworker's request he tell whoever knocked over a bag of chips to clean them up by informing the coworker he was sick of being told what to do and stabbing him with a pen, reports NBC Connecticut.