Karl Malone just turned 50, and with the passing years comes the knowledge that it's just not as easy to get around as it used to be and the wisdom to actually do something about it.
So the NBA Hall of Famer did. He went out and bought himself a mule.
That's right. You're not going to be seeing the noted huntsman out there stumbling over a bunch of rocks or tree roots. And he's certainly not going to abandon his love for the great outdoors.
"Instead of being the athlete and walking everywhere, he got himself a mule," wife Kay Malone told the Salt Lake Tribune. "… I think he’s listening to his body more. He’s preserving himself more. He wants to be able to do things with the grandkids."
Those who keep up with Malone might not be all that surprised by the purchase. As Yahoo! Sports points out, this is hardly the first time the former member of the Utah Jazz and Lakers has been linked to mules.
The beasts were actually mentioned by name in his Jazz contract (he wasn't allowed to shoot firearms from the back of one). His grandfather was a mule rider. And he just seems to love talking about them, including the catch-phrase of the 2000s: "You can't beat the fart out of a dead mule."
But don't go thinking Malone has slowed down at all. He still works out three hours a day, remains at his playing weight and mentors the Jazz's younger players.
He's just 50. And he has a mule. Got a problem with that?