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Don Knotts

Chris Dufresne's college football rankings

1. Alabama (5-0): Mrs. Saban tells Nick she just loves her new alligator purse! (1)

2. LSU (5-0): CBS broadcast vs. Florida to feature new sideline reporter Andy Rooney. (2)

3. Oklahoma (4-0): State Fair pregame menu includes funnel cake, "Bevo on a stick." (3)

4. Stanford (4-0): Coach Harbaugh is 7-1 in Bay Area this week if you combine Cardinal/49ers. (5)

5. Boise State (4-0): Subscribe to "Dikes&" to keep up on team's Dutch players. (4)

6. Wisconsin (5-0): What's black-and-blue and red all over? Nebraska. (7)

7. Oklahoma State (4-0): Texas Tech prep begins with...