Colin Egglesfield

It’s safe to say Lollapalooza didn’t have people like me in mind when choosing its headliners.

There is no hip-hop headliner like there was in 2008 (Kanye West) and 2011 (Eminem). Also, I’m too young to care that the three-day music festival will feature a reunited metal band (Black Sabbath) and I’m too old to care that this year’s Lollapalooza will feature two dance-music headliners for the first time (Avicii and Justice).

That leaves me with a band I haven’t cared about since college (The Red Hot Chili Peppers) and two acts I haven’t...