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Bruce Willis
'Dancing With The Stars' recap, Spring Break week
'Dancing With The Stars' recap, Spring Break week

It's "Spring Break" week. I'm not even sure what that means except for gross things like wet T-shirt contests, beer funnels and parents having to deal with kids out of school/daycare for five days straight. The opening credits are all swimming pools, sand, surf and ice cream cones. Except for Miss Patti LaBelle, who's sitting like a lady with her fan open and fluttering. She's my role model, y'all. Two rounds tonight: Individual dances and then the first team dance of the season. Patti LaBelle & Artem Chigvintsev Quickstep Artem didn't have spring break because he grew up in Russia, and Patti didn't have a spring break because she's...