From the Cubicle: White Sox-Twins

Live play-by-play commentary of today's White Sox-Twins game from a girl who bought Beyonce and Jay-Z a blender for their big day.

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Who doesn't love a good blender? I totally bedazzled it. I mean, allegedly. Those two. So secretive.

Everyone geeked up for the home opener today? The awesome Bob Vanderberg sure is, and I want what he's on. Fun fact: Vandy, the assistant high school sports editor, orders Boston Blackies for us every Friday night during football season. Sorry, tangent.

The White Sox seem to be having fun out there again, and really, isn't that's what it's all about? In case you missed it last night (or your TV at work doesn't pick up ESPN2, sigh)…Nick Swisher jacked his first homer of the season and Orlando Cabrera recorded 3 RBIs on a big double and Mark Buehrle pitched much better and the Sox smacked around the Tigers. Your Detroit Tigers, 0-6. Wow.

As for today, weather looks good: Highs in the upper 50s with west winds 10 to 20 mph. Javier Vazquez on the mound for the Sox. Delmon Young is in the lineup for the Twins. Someone tell the umps to be on alert.

Side note: I was supposed to work tonight, but Rahula switched shifts with me so I could compete in the "Chutes and Ladders" tournament at my neighborhood bar. Why, what did you think my reason was?

Post your comments below or email me at akaschube@tribune.com.

Baseball shortly.

FIRST INNING

Don't tell, but I'm drinking and cubicling. Free champagne from the Pulitzer announcements. Weeeeee. Also, can someone explain the whole bean bag (or "bags" as Adam tells me) phenomenon? I am so out of the loop. Javier Vazquez gets Carlos Gomez up first. First pitch bunt, Vazquez can't field it and there's one aboard. Nice bunt down the firstbase line. Here's Denard Span. Yeah, I don't know either. 1-1 count on Span. Couple pickoff attempts to first, but no dice. One ball later, and Gomez steals second. One pitch later, and Span grounds out to second base and Gomez moves to third. Here's Joe Mauer. He so wants to be Brandon Walsh from 90210. Which I've heard the CW is re-doing. Mauer singles up the middle, that will score Gomez. Twins 1-0. Sox killer Justin Morneau stands in there. Vazquez falls behind 3-0 before getting a strike. Yuck. Next pitch is a ball, and Morneau trots down to first. So two on, one out. Opening Day baseball fever, catch it! Delmon Young swings at the first pitch he sees, and he grounds into a double play to end the inning.

Twins 1-0.

Nick Swisher is leading things off again, followed by Orlando Cabrera (O-Cab) and big Jim Thome. Swisher is good and all, but WHAT is up with his goatee? Used to be a dark color, and now it looks like he bleached it blonde. Like Bobby Jenks. Is it a team unity thing? Someone needs to find out. Ball one to Swisher. Takes the next pitch deep to CF for a double. He's fired up. Must be the bleach. Here's O-Cab. Ball one. Strike one. Next pitch down the firstbase line for a single. RF Span makes a nice play that will hold Swisher at third. Thome now (no facial hair for him). Thome grounds it through the hole at first (and his bat goes flying into the seats). That's a single, Swisher scores. Tied 1-1. Runners at first and second, no outs. Paul Konerko is up. I think the crowd likes him. Quickly 0-2. Konerko checks it up, oh wait, no he doesn't. That's a strikeout. One out. JD now. 1-2 count for JD; looked like Blackburn balked...but no. Big cut from JD...and he whiffs...and that's two outs. AJ Pierzynski -- the AL player of the week -- stands in there. He grounds it to the shortstop for the third out. Sox strand two.

Tied 1-1.

SECOND INNING

And yes, I know. Same old bad picture of Amanda. See, I didn't think I'd be working the cubicle today...and I left my special outfit at home. So next time, for reals. Pinky swear. And steady yourselves, but Project Runway is moving to Lifetime. It's gonna be OK. Jason Kubel is first up. He lines it past Uribe at second for a single. Vazquez fell behind 2-0 in the count (again) and Kubel made him pay. Brendan Harris bunts it to Vazquez, who barely gets the throw to first in time. Sheesh. Kubel moves to second. Mike Lamb now. He's batting .100 this season. 2-2 count for Lamb. He takes the next pitch and floats it into LF for a double. That will score Kubel. Twins 2-1. Adam Everett pops up the first pitch to Konerko in foul territory for the second out. Carlos Gomez also pops up in foul territory, but it's so foul it's in the stands. 1-1 count. Now it's a full count. And then Javy gets him to strikeout. But we're not tied no more.

Twins 2-1.

Carlos Quentin is first up. He made a lovely throw on Saturday from LF all the way to first. No hops. That's some robo-arm. He takes four straight balls for the walk. Here'e Joe Crede. Is he your sweetie? Some dudes wearing all green suits with white gloves in the stands. Hot. Crede falls behind 1-2 and then pops out to the SS. That thing went high in the air. Juan Uribe -- 4 for 20 this season -- lays off the first pitch. I know! Strike one. Takes the next pitch deep to CF, but Gomez is there to make the catch. Quentin goes back to first. Nick Swisher, and his goatee of joy. This is for all the ladies. Swisher runs the count to 3-2...two foul balls...and then he walks. O-Cab. 1-1. Mound conference for the Twins. 2-2. And then O-Cab flies out to RF. Sox strand two. Again.

Twins 2-1.

THIRD INNING

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2013 YEAR IN REVIEW
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