Packers look like best team Bears won't tackle

Green Bay Packers v Minnesota Vikings

Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers calls a play at the line of scrimmage during the first quarter of the game against the Minnesota Vikings on Sunday. (Hannah Foslien / Getty Images / October 27, 2013)

If you were watching TV on Sunday night looking to find hope for the Bears on Monday night at Lambeau field, sorry, people. The Packers' went to Minnesota and gave the Bears a TV preview that was rated "M" for "Mommy Make It Stop."

Aaron Rodgers is healthy. Sames goes for Eddie Lacy and James Starks. Jordy Nelson also is healthy.

Which means the Bears are ill. Bears fans certainly are, anyway.

Whatever the Vikings defense was unable to do against the Packers on Sunday night,  the Bears probably will be unable to, as well, next week.

The Vikings tackled the Packers as badly as I expect the Bears to. Lacy and Starks ran over, through and around the Vikings. Lacy is a load, Starks is a missile, and the Bears have missed tackles on both types of back this season.

And that was when they had Lance Briggs, their best tackler, and at times, their only tackler.

Lacy was held to an average of 3.2 yards per carry, but he still pummeled the Vikings for 94 yards and a score. You can see him doing that to this sloppy Bears defense, couldn’t you, kids? I knew you could.

Starks, meanwhile, shot through for 57 yards on just seven carries --- an 8.1 average – and of course a TD. You can imagine him giving the lame-tackling Bears a similar kind of windburn, right?

Isn’t there a rule against the Packers unholstering a big running game to complement Rodgers?

And Rodgers showed he’s still Rodgers, no matter who’s running patterns. Nelson and five guys names Moe drilled the Vikings.

The Vikings tried to rush Rodgers with just four the way the Bears try to. The Vikings had the same lack of success the Bears have had.

Thing is, the Vikings actually had some push. They forced Rodgers to move around. Sometimes he found an open receiver, sometimes he scrambled for a nice gain. Usually it extended a long drive the way quarterbacks have done to the Bears.

Rodgers was deadly on third downs: 10-for-10 for 172 yards and two TDs against Minnesota. The Bears have been suicidal on that down recently. Be afraid, people. Be very afraid.

Unless Julius Peppers comes out of retirement and Shea McClellin suddenly stops being Shea McClellin, the Bears might not make Rodgers slide anywhere in the pocket. I can picture Rodgers standing back there and ordering bottle service.

Blitzing might bring pressure and close some running lanes, but that will leave opens spots, and Rodgers has been known to find them. See the Vikings for details.

It’s scary what Rodgers might do to Bears rookie linebackers Jon Bostic and Khaseem Greene. Whatever speed they have will be necessary to make up for their expected bad reads.

It’s unfathomable what he’ll probably do to safeties Major Wright and Chris Conte, even if Conte can remain upright. While most teams supply players with an iPad that contains game plans, it looks like the Bears have given Wright and Conte an Etch-A-Sketch.

The Bears are likely to station Conte 30 yards deep the way they played him as a rookie, preferring to give up the underneath routes just to prevent the bombs. That defensive scheme seems even more likely when you consider that Charles Tillman hasn’t finished a game since last month.

The broken Bears defense will stress the bend-but-don’t-break philosophy and try to force the Packers to go the length of the field in a lot of plays, expecting to seize on an error. Yes. Well. Did you see where Rodgers’ offense held the ball for more than 40 minutes against the Vikings?

Yes, more than 40 minutes. Medic!

Of course, there’s a chance that Rodgers will not torch the Bears through the air next week, and that’s probably because the Bears might not force the Packers to pass the ball.

Or perhaps because the Bears have a quarterback, a position the Vikings still can’t figure out. Josh McCown is better and smarter than Christian Ponder, but then, who isn’t?

Not so fast, Caleb Hanie.

Point is, an effective Bears offense might prevent Rodgers and the Packers offense from getting as many possessions as he did Sunday night. Has there ever been a 60-minute drive?

I’m sure I’ll pick the Bears to win 55-7 in our Monday predictions. But you probably won’t think I’m serious.

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