On weekday mornings, I'll post the most controversial, shocking and (of course) ridiculous stories for your reading pleasure. That way, when you walk into work, you'll be the master of witty conversation.

What's that Jon Stewart said about 'crybabies'? Tearful Glenn Beck says he was attacked in New York. (Mediaite

The latest Drudge Report outrage: Maryland adds environmental literacy to schools. (Fox News

I'm now accepting bets that she is clearly not running: Palin says no decision on White House bid. (Reuters

He'd rather her campaign use 'Free Fallin'': Tom Petty wants Michele Bachmann to stop using 'American Girl.' (Yahoo News

• Classy: Did Keith Olbermann call Michele Bachmann a pig? (Mediaite

Everyone's attacking: Former Bachmann chief-of-staff says she's unqualified to be president. (Mediaite

But: Romney still has large lead in New Hampshire. (Fox News

Video 

Awesome: A robot that can catch baseballs: 

 

• Everything you ever wanted to know about Bristol Palin's book, which is nothing

 

Obama's baby magic isn't popular overseas? Obama's YouTube marketing mocked by the Taiwanese.