Two weeks ago I go into the final game of the week with a lead and lose on Terrell Owens' touchdown catch that wasn't a catch.
Yeah, I know a win's a win. But it was an ugly win, a hard-on-your-heart win, an I-don't-deserve-this-win win. I'll take it, but I don't have to feel good about it.
I'm 2-1 staring at 2-10, and my fortunes aren't looking up. My quarterback (Matt Hasselbeck) has a bye this week. My receivers (Derrick Mason and Koren Robinson) apparently have byes this season.
I've got to shake things up. Trade patience for panic. Make a move. Something.
I'm oh-so tempted to cut Robinson, who was supposed to be my No. 2 receiver. Ha! I play him Week 1 and he can't hang onto the ball. He makes three grabs for 35 yards. So I sit him Week 2 (you know, send him a message) and he gets 66 yards and a TD. I put him back into the lineup last week and he makes one reception for 12 yards.
In fairness to Koren, he had the sniffles this past weekend. What, you can give a guy a cortisone shot, but not Tylenol Cold and Sinus? Some green tea and honey? Suck it up, Koren! Your team needs you (and I'm not talking about the Seahawks; they won 34-0 in Week 3).
I don't need guys like that on my team. What I need is more guys like Edgerrin James, who strained his hamstring while scoring an insurance touchdown in Week 2 against the Titans. Asked why he didn't go down short of the goal line so the Colts could run out the clock, 'Edge' said: "The fantasy football people would have been mad at me. I had to please the fantasy guys."
That's what I want guys who have a hard time separating fantasy from reality.
No matter what ails your team, now is a good time to try to swing a trade. By now you should have a good read on your strengths and weaknesses, as well as those of your opponents. You've got an idea what to expect from your players (my general rule: players who disappoint in Weeks 1 and 2 are slow starters; players who disappoint in Weeks 1, 2 and 3 are bums). And it's still early enough for your deal to make a difference.
The best deals get done by owners who do the work. Identify your team's strengths (assuming it has some). Find an owner who needs what you have and has what you want and propose a reasonable, mutually beneficial trade. It's a more effective approach than doomsday message board postings ("My team's miserable; everyone's available") or insulting offers (as much as you might like Trader Joe to accept your Joe Horn-for-LaDainian Tomlinson proposal, it's not going to happen).
No matter the approach, the basic idea behind any trade should be to sell high, buy low. Listed below are a few prime candidates in both categories.
Buy low: Fred Taylor, Duce Staley, Corey Dillon, Travis Henry, Michael Bennett, Lee Suggs, Tatum Bell, Steve McNair, Michael Vick, Trent Green, Carson Palmer, Derrick Mason, Santana Moss, Laveranues Coles, Anquan Boldin, Todd Heap.
Sell high: Thomas Jones (No. 2 among RBs; no way he stays there), Curtis Martin, Tiki Barber, Onterrio Smith, Joey Harrington, Reche Caldwell, Isaac Bruce, Javon Walker, Brandon Stokley, Ronald Curry.