LET'S BEGIN with the premise that most injury stories are inherently boring and will put you to sleep faster than a tire iron upside your head.
Fell off the treadmill in the gym and sprained your ankle? Who cares?
Then there is Sascha Wolhandler's injury story.
Sascha's story will draw a crowd at a cocktail party, I promise you.
Because Sascha Wolhandler is the only one who can rake a cracker through
the crab dip and casually say: "I broke my foot playing a sex addict in the
new John Waters film."
To be perfectly honest with you, just the words "sex addict" are enough to
get my attention at a party.
Now you throw in a broken foot, and the possibility of all sorts of steamy
acrobatics - it's enough to melt the Amstel Light in my fat little fingers.
Anyway, in a moment we'll get into how exactly Sascha was injured - look,
I'm not about to reveal it right here and have you blow off the rest of the
column for Doonesbury or the TV listings. What, you think I'm some kind of
But first we should mention that Wolhandler runs a well-known catering
business in town and owns Sascha's 527 restaurant on Charles Street with her
husband, Stephen Suser.
She's also a long-time pal of John Waters, having done catering for his
film sets and appeared as an extra in Pecker.
And she has a terrific sense of humor, which you sort of need to play a sex
addict, it seems to me.
This time she was appearing as an extra in Waters' new film A Dirty Shame,
which stars Chris Isaak and Tracy Ullman and is billed as a comedy about sex
addiction on Harford Road.
(I know, I know ... hasn't everyone done a comedy about sex addiction on
The film just wrapped up shooting - it's scheduled to be released sometime
next year - but not before giving Sascha Wolhandler a story she can milk for
the rest of her life.
OK, we're getting to the good part now - well, as good as it's going to get
in a family newspaper. (Look, I'm not about to lose my job just so you people
can have a few cheap thrills.)
So last month, they were shooting this scene at a convenience store where
the "neuters" - people opposed to the sex addicts - are outside protesting
with picket signs and the 30 or so sex addicts inside are doing, well, what
sex addicts do.
(C'mon, who doesn't go to the convenience store to have sex? Hey, if you're
still pulling up to the 7-Eleven for bread and milk and lottery tickets, you
better get a life, my friend.)
Things were going along swimmingly when all of a sudden the actor who
played Wolhandler's sex partner - "my young boy-toy" as she calls him -
tripped and fell on Sascha's foot.
Sex addicts' tale will make her life of any party
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