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Kurt Vonnegut
I'm a sportswriter, and I don't think I belong on the television [Commentary]

The late, great Kurt Vonnegut said something very funny in an interview one time, or at least the endless list of famous quotes websites say he did, that went like this: "Most writers are not quick witted when they talk. [They] drag themselves around in society like gut-shot bears." I removed some of the original statement to serve my own ends, since Vonnegut was referring in particular to novelists, not just writers in general, and I haven't published a novel, yet. But, I still think his assertion rings true, at least in my own life. I'm not quick-witted, and I can count on two hands the number of times that I've made an entire group of people laugh. I'm...

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