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Daneen Skube

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  • To be more effective, ask 'How?' and 'What?' -- not 'Why?'

    Q. I'm a very inquisitive person and always ask people I work with to tell me why they want things a certain way. My boss is telling me I'm creating a hostile work environment. Is there a problem with asking why? How can I get good information, and why are people upset?
  • Success should be your goal, not self-esteem

    Q. When I tell my boss or coworkers that I need help or have a problem, they make it pretty clear I must be incompetent. I am so tired of being criticized if I'm not superhuman. How can I get them to stop being shaming when I can't meet their...

    Negotiate for results rather than empathy

    Q. I consider myself a good communicator. When people hurt my feelings at work, I let them know they are upsetting me. What I don't understand is why other people get so defensive and annoyed when I am just being clear. How can I get people to listen to...

    How to foil the office bully

    Q. A recently hired employee is being bullied by the employee who trained that person. The boss does nothing to discourage the bully. My husband thinks I should ignore it. I want to do something but not to put my job in jeopardy. The only advice I gave...

    Let go of fantasies about how workplace 'should be'

    Q. I'm in my 50s and starting to notice that most of the beliefs I had about work in my 20s were wrong. Many people break promises, hard work often doesn't get rewarded, and the truly responsible employees often get in trouble. How can I cope better...