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Ruth Westheimer
His wandering thoughts are deflating their sex life
His wandering thoughts are deflating their sex life

Q: My husband's mind wanders, and he starts thinking about things during sex, and when he does, he goes soft. He gets upset about it. Do you have any advice on how to get him to focus on me? A: The answer might not be to focus on you, but rather on some sexual fantasy that he finds truly arousing. That fantasy could include you, but if it doesn't — if he wants to fantasize about being with an entire team of cheerleaders — there's nothing wrong with that. That said, he shouldn't reveal his fantasies to you. He could use a white lie and say it's about you, or else it just shouldn't be a topic of conversation. The point is that if he's losing...

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