SA: What's your prediction for UCF this year?
PP: I think the Knights beat Penn State and USF, lose to South Carolina and Louisville and finish 9-3 and No. 2 in their new conference — the Big Eastern American USA.
SA: What about the Gators? Will their offense be better and can they improve on their 11 victories?
PP: The good news is their offense can't be worse. The bad news is their defense might be. They'll only lose two games this year; unfortunately, both will be in the SEC East against Georgia and South Carolina. They'll go 10-2 and beat Florida State, but UF's finicky faithful will still be unimpressed. As my buddy Pat Dooley of The Gainesville Sun once wrote, "Nobody suffers success like a Gator fan."
SA: What about Florida State? Can the Seminoles top last year's 12-win, ACC-title season?
PP: Yes, they can! The 'Noles will beat overrated Climpson, run the table in the ACC and be in the running for the national-title game. Unfortunately, their only defeat will come in the last game of the season in Gainesville, which means FSU fans will complain about the one they lost instead of the 11 they won.
SA: What do you foresee for the Miami Hurricanes?
PP: Eight victories and three more years of being investigated by the NCAA. I'm not saying the NCAA Committee on Infractions is slow, but they took a four-hour break to watch "60 Minutes."
SA: OK, Professor, look into your crystal ball and tell us who will play for the national title.
PP: It will be a Gator fan's worst nightmare: Former UF coach Steve Spurrier and his South Carolina Gamecocks against former UF coach Urban Meyer and his Ohio State Buckeyes.
SA: Will Gator fans root for Spurrier over Meyer?
PP: Gator fans would root for Jimbo Fisher, Mark Richt and Hannibal Lecter over Meyer.
SA: So who wins the title — Spurrier or Meyer?
PP: Urban Meyer wins the national title and celebrates by getting his entire front seven arrested and turning in the Gators for a ticky-tack NCAA violation.
SA: Last thing, Prof Piggy, will you give your Rodney Dangerfield public-service announcement as you do every year?
PP: Absolutely. This is for all you fans out there: As you're tailgating this season, don't overindulge and get too inebriated. Remember the words of Rodney, who, before he died, posed for the cover of the Sentinel football special section.
"I drink way too much," Rodney said. "The last time I gave a urine sample, it had an olive in it."
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