'Twas the Night Before Christmas … and North Pole University is leaving the Big East!

Skip Bayless and Stephen A. were yelling at each other,

While Rob Parker was questioning whether RGIII was a real brother.

Their voices were raised; their heads were a-banging,

Their noise and nonsense were like cymbals a-clanging.


Santa knew something quickly had to be done,

To restore to the sports world some innocence and fun.

Then something appeared purer as the new-fallen snow,

No, not a Christmas angel, but Timmy Tebow.


"Don't worry, Coach Santa," Tebow did vow.

"Unshackle your soul, unfurl your brow."

Then he made Santa forget all the sports traitors,

By making a pledge like he did with the Gators.


"I promise, Dear Santa, you'll have no regrets,

"If you'll just give me a chance unlike the coach of the Jets.

"I will walk on water and part the vast ocean,

"If you'll just overlook my bad throwing motion!


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