The Royal Rumble is the match I look forward to most in WWE, not just because it begins the "Road To WrestleMania" and shapes a lot of those cards and rivalries, but because it feeds your ADD cravings as a pro wrestling fan.
Every two minutes, about the time you secretly want something new or exciting to happen in a match, a new person joins in and makes the match interesting again. This happens 28 times. By the time No. 30 hits the ring, your "fan ADD" has been fed enough that you can calmly sit through the remaining minutes (usually 6-to-10) of the Rumble match. And when the winner is determined, the "armchair booker" in you begins to fill the holes of WrestleMania's card.
Some people also like to place friendly wagers on the match, because in WWE it is a rare match where it's tough to definitely pick a winner. At my office, I usually organize a "random number" pool, where 30 people pick a number out of a hat. Since my office is also full of degenerate gamblers, side prop bets are often made. So, for those looking to make The Rumble even more interesting with a friendly wager on what might happen in the Rumble match itself, here are five things that may very well take place during the course of the 2013 Royal Rumble match:
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1.) Ryback will break the record for most eliminations in a single Royal Rumble Match
This record was set by Kane in 2001, when he eliminated 11 superstars. It's a record that still stands today, but will be broken by Ryback, who will enter the Royal Rumble and single-handedly eliminate all three members of The Shield. He will go on a tear, much like Diesel in the 1994 Rumble match, eventually eliminating, well, more than 11 superstars. For argument's sake, let's go with 13 total.
2.) Kofi Kingston or someone else will perform a ridiculous Rumble "elimination dodge"
This has become a thing ever since John Morrison got pushed off the apron and held onto the barricade, catwalked along it and jumped back on the ring steps in 2011. A year later, Kofi Kingston did a handstand and walked on his hands to the ring steps. This year, who knows what will happen. What would be interesting would be an "elimination dodge" involving several people and a complex scenario.
3.) You can expect an elimination of lofty proportions
Beth Phoenix eliminates the Great Khali. Hornswoggle eliminates The Miz. Shawn Michaels eliminates both Yokozuna and Vader at the same time. Lofty eliminations indeed, and this year we are due for another big one. Why not go biggest, and have Hornswoggle eliminate Mark Henry and his buddy Khali at the same time?
4.) A low entrant will win the Rumble
This one I'm calling because we are due. The last three Rumble matches have seen high-entry winners (Sheamus No. 22 in 2012, Alberto Del Rio No. 38 of 40 in 2011, Edge No. 29 in 2010), and five winners in the past seven years were among the final eight entries (including back-to-back No. 30 winners in 2007 and 2008). I think we're due for a low-number winner. No. 1? Maybe not, but among the first 10.
5.) The Royal Rumble match will not be the main event
This one is almost academic, given that The Rock is on the card. Not since 2006 has the Royal Rumble Match happened before the main event on the pay-per-view bearing its name, and only five times in 25 years (1988, 1996, 1997, 1998, 2006). The Rock vs. CM Punk for the WWE championship is a match where you could absolutely make the case that it will be the last match at this year's event and nobody will think it is out of place.
As far as a winner goes, despite the rumors floating around that "Twice In a Lifetime" between John Cena and The Rock will happen at WrestleMania with the title on the line, here is why I like Dolph Ziggler winning it: he has two key losses against Cena, and eliminating Cena from the Rumble would give him back a ton of momentum (and not hurt Cena's clout in the process). If Ziggler wins and faces the World Heavyweight champion at WrestleMania, we have a unique situation where Ziggler not only has a title match, where he will relish the fact that he finally gets an opportunity to "steal the show" in a high-profile title match at the biggest show of the year, but he has "insurance" in the form of his Money in the Bank briefcase. If Ziggler loses after a terrific match, he can then attack the champ, lay him out, cash in and win. Imagine the sympathy for the babyface champion (say Alberto Del Rio) going into a match like this.
Enjoy the Rumble!
Arda Ocal is an on-air personality with theScore Television Network. Follow him on Twitter @arda_ocal.