By Arda Ocal
3:00 PM EDT, September 18, 2013
There is a new WWE champion.
His name? Vacant.
Only one name is needed, he is that popular. Like Prince, Cher, Madonna, or Snitsky.
That's right -- similar to "Angelina Jolie's leg," "Anfield Cat" and one of the most on-point satirical accounts on Twitter, "WWE Creative," a new account was created hours after Raw concluded Monday night.
No, I don't mean "The Miz's dad," although that account also exists.
This one -- @WWEVacant -- claimed to be the current WWE champion, bolstering a supremely impressive resume -- having defeated the likes of Hulk Hogan, John Cena, Triple H and now Daniel Bryan. Having held several top championships in WWE and every other major organization, Vacant might be the most successful persona of all-time.
Finally, via Twitter, we could learn more about Vacant. He has never granted an interview before, and I got the first exclusive. Lucky me.
Thank you for your time today, Vacant.
You've never written an article about me. I've granted you the first exclusive interview.
Let's start with some history -- who trained you to get into the business?
Even though I possess traits of a young Kowalski, I was never trained. I simply arrived on the scene and won my first title.
Remarkable. Your first match was a title win. Which championship was the most gratifying for you?
It wasn't so much a title win, but my only known title defense in the main event of Judgment Day '98. I beat Undertaker AND Kane.
Remarkably, during the "Monday Night Wars," you were WCW champion and WWE Cruiserweight champion at the same time. How did you pull this off?
The more important question is -- how have I held the Women's Championship? I break barriers and no one stops me.
That's impressive, but you are ducking my question. Is that because there are political repercussions if you answer truthfully?
Let's just say it would be harmful to my family. But yes, it happened and it's very impressive.
How did you win the Women's title? How did that happen without you dressing up as a female like "Hervina?"
I break down all barriers. Vacant stands for equality. I don't adhere to weight, gender, or location guidelines! #EraOfVacancy
That didn't really answer my question. And what's with this hashtag you are using, #EraOfVacancy?
Indeed. Back to you being WWE champion today -- are you concerned that Damien Sandow, the Money in the Bank contract holder for a World Heavyweight title shot, may lobby to be able to cash in against you?
Officially, he can't. In reality, he couldn't lace my generic black boots.
Those are fighting words, Vacant. How many WWE title wins are you at now?
I would say I'm unofficially a 10-time WWE champion. Officially 8-time. Some forget about my unadvertised win vs. Inoki in '79.
You do have a pretty impressive resume.
What do Inoki, Andre, Hogan, HBK, Austin, Mr. McMahon, Cena, Batista, Punk, and Bryan have in common? They all lost the WWE Title to me! I finally got my long deserved recognition. I'm glad WWE.com has finally recognized that I exist.
Here's a question from @CaseyCarnage -- how long have you been European champion? The title seems to be safe with you now.
You have me confused with my tag team partner, Defunct.
Speaking of tag teams, you are also a multi-time tag team champion, holding the titles solo!
Making the tag during a match is so cumbersome. I can get the job done myself, because I'm that good.
At this point the @WWEVacant account was suspended due to the volume of replies and is under review by Twitter.
How dare they cut this interview short!
(Alex Maki is a Michigan resident who aspires to write for WWE Magazine and WWE.com one day. He is the creator of @WWEVacant on Twitter. He is also @odor31.)
Follow Arda on Twitter @arda_ocal.
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