Seminoles will treat the 'U' like FIU

Roger Simmons and Brendon Sonnone on Miami vs FSU.

Running off at the typewriter

Have you heard Miami coach Al Golden's comments this week about how "fortunate" the Hurricanes are for the "opportunity" to play high-powered Florida State and the Seminoles' Heisman-esque quarterback Jameis Winston? Al, babe, let me give you a little advice: You are coaching the "U" — not FAU or FIU! So quit talking like the coach of a homecoming opponent who is simply coming into Tallahassee tonight to collect a check and a five-touchdown loss. Actually, Big Al, maybe I should be commending you for your honesty. Mikey likes: FSU over Miami by 32, Georgia over Florida by 10, Seahawks over Yucs by 15, Patriots over Steelers by 10, Packers over Bears by 7, Bye Week over Jags by 9. …

In the last week, we've seen a World Series game end on a pickoff play and an NFL game (Dolphins-Bengals) end on a safety. Coming soon: An NBA game ends on a walk-off 3-second violation. … With the beaten beleaguered state of both programs, doesn't this year's Florida-Georgia game seem more like The World's Largest Outdoor Pity Party? … When Will Muschamp was a player at Georgia he was 0-4 against Florida and now that he's the coach of Florida he's 0-2 against Georgia. I guess you could say for Muschamp this rivalry should be called The World's Largest Outdoor Goose Egg Party. …

It was great to see the Magic honor Tracy McGrady Friday night as the first former player celebrated during the franchise's 25th anniversary season. But if the Magic are going to honor their history, they should honor all of their history. How about John Weisbrod Hockey Puck Night or Doug Christie Bone Spurs Night? Or a Fran Vazquez Appreciation Night where nobody shows up for the game! Or a Grant Hill Gratitude Night where the first person who shows up on crutches gets free admission — and a $93 million contract! … Did you see where Miami Dolphins offensive tackle Jonathan Martin left the team because he was being bullied by teammates? Somewhere John Matuszak is spinning in his grave so fast he's getting motion sickness. … Former Jacksonville Jaguars star Mark Brunell went on ESPN the other day and said he thinks the Jaguars may move to London someday. Geez, America already has been nabbed for spying on our allies overseas and now we're talking about saddling them with the Jaguars, too? Mark my words: If the Jaguars move to London, it will be the worst foreign-policy decision since the Bay of Pigs. …

Speaking of the Jaguars, does anybody want to explain to me why the franchise that has repeatedly refused to give hometown hero Tim Tebow a chance continues to stand by perpetually suspended wide receiver Justin Blackmon? The NFL suspended Blackmon yet again Friday for violating the NFL's substance-abuse policy — only a couple of weeks after Blackmon returned from a four-game suspension for violating the same policy. In addition, Blackmon has two previous DUI arrests on his rap sheet. At the very least, the Jags should sign Tebow to be Blackmon's designated driver and appointed role model. ...

Chicago Bears wide receiver Brandon Marshall formerly of Lake Howell High and UCF — said recently that Washington Redskins safety Brandon Meriweather — formerly of Apopka High and the University of Miami — should be "suspended or taken out of the game completely" for his head-hunting ways. Meriweather fired back and took a shot at Marshall's past allegations of domestic violence. "He feels like I need to be kicked out of the league?" Meriweather said. "You know, I feel like people who beat their girlfriends should be kicked out the league, too. You tell me who you'd rather have: Somebody who plays aggressive on the field, or somebody who beats up their girlfriend?" Question: Can Meriweather be penalized for a verbal helmet-to-helmet? … Can you believe a Brazilian surfer recently rode a wave that was 100 feet high. Wow, that's almost as high as FAU's ex-football coach. … Golf Channel analyst Brandel Chamblee recently wrote a column at Golf.com accusing Tiger Woods of being a big, fat cheater and now is falling all over himself apologizing for what he wrote. Dude, man up and stand by your opinion. Remember what the wise man once said: "The job of a sports columnist is to watch the battle from the mountaintop and then ride down and bayonet the wounded!" …

Open Mike

Don't forget, you can click on OrlandoSentinel.com and read the wildly popular Open Mike blog and interactive extravaganza to get my freshest takes on what's happening in the world of sports. Here's a blog post on the NFL potential of FSU phenom quarterback Jameis Winston:

Good thing for the Florida State Seminoles that freshman quarterback Jameis Winston isn't eligible for the NFL draft. If he were, he'd probably be the first overall pick. Or at least that's what one NFL scout told me earlier this week.

The scout said he is not allowed to talk publicly about players who are not eligible for the draft, but he did offer me this comment under the condition of anonymity:

"Rarely do you see a quarterback at Winston's age who has the combination of size, speed, arm strength and field awareness that he has," the scout said. "He's a bigger, stronger, faster version of [Louisville's] Teddy Bridgewater."

The scout went on to say that obviously it would depend on which team has the No. 1 pick, but he said anu team in need of a quarterback would "absolutely move up" if they had a chance to draft Winston.

Translation: Enjoy Famous Jameis while you can, Seminole fans.

Players can enter the NFL three years after they leave high school. That means after next season — when Winston is just a redshirt sophomore — he will be eligible for the draft and will likely be the No. 1 pick.

Mail bonding

(Most interesting reader retorts, radio rabble, tangy tweets and message-board mockery of the week):

On the Florida-Georgia game: "Hasn't Jacksonville suffered through enough bad football this season?"

On UF's offensive woes: "It looks like UF's offense has left to spend time with Urban Meyer's family."

On the Magic honoring former players such as Shaquille O'Neal and Dwight Howard during their 25th anniversary season: "This is like the captain of the ship honoring the rats who jumped off it."

Notable quotables

(Three of the best quotes from the late-night talk shows this week):

"Have you tried to get on the Obamacare website? Oh, it is slow! It is so slow that by the time you sign up for ObamaCare you'll be eligible for Medicare. It's slower than a ticket scalper at a Jacksonville Jaguars game." — Jay Leno

"Tonight the Lakers played the Clippers. Here's an interesting fact: When L.A. basketball teams play each other, a new baby Kardashian is born." — Jimmy Kimmel

"On Halloween a woman from North Dakota says she's planning on giving overweight trick-or-treaters a letter explaining that sugar is bad for them — instead of giving them candy. Then those kids will hand her a letter saying, 'Toilet paper or eggs?' " — Jimmy Fallon

mbianchi@tribune.com. Follow him on Twitter @BianchiWrites. Listen to his radio show every weekday from 6 to 9 a.m. on 740 AM.

 

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