Still can't get over the firing of Mike Brown after five games of the NBA season by the Los Angeles Losers. Because it was the all-mighty Loser/Lakers, media critics immediately gave them a pass, saying it would be weird anywhere else but, somehow, makes perfect sense in Hollywood.
Bull hockey. It makes no sense at all.
Fire him before the season. Fire him after 20 games. But firing him after five suggests that the team owner woke up Friday with a really bad headache and said: "Get me some aspirin and, oh, I don't know, fire Brown. That might cheer me up."
Think about it. Five NBA games is about 1/16th of the regular season, so it corresponds to firing a NFL coach after one game of a 16-game season. (Although that might not have been a bad idea in Jacksonville, Kansas City, Cleveland and the loser of the Dallas-Philadelphia game.)
Poor Mike. Oh sure, they cut him an "out-the-door" check in the millions, but it's so insulting to be fired. And GM Mike Kupchak said he was "hard working and dedicated." That always translates to "why did we ever hire him in the first place?" When someone calls you "hard working and dedicated," you are either fired or dead.
My theory is that appearance on the court (or sideline) is a major factor. Brown is one of those guys who looks like he's suffering and doesn't have a clue what to do about it. Think about the coaches of the NFL teams named above because they have that same look.
Now think about a coach such as Doc Rivers. He suffers, too, but looks like he's going to fix it any second now. You believe Doc can fix things. Also, as far as I know, Doc has never used the Princeton offense.
Fab Five Football Picks
Last week: Nobody firing me, at least not this week. So how did you do last week? Really? That's nice. How did I do? Well, seeing that you asked, I DIDN'T MISS A GAME! Yep, 14-0, best score of course in the Clear Channel contest. That bumps me up to 86-46 for the season (65 percent.) Also 11-3 against the spread (62-69-1 for season). But now I'm afraid to pick anything because I don't want to come crashing back to earth. When I crash, it hurts.
San Diego (4-4) at Tampa (4-4) — Yucs favored by 3
When you look at who these two have beaten, it's easy to suspect both are frauds. But the Yucs are home frauds with a QB that has passed for 12 touchdowns and a yardage average of 311 in last five games, plus a rookie running back who is channeling Jim Brown. That should be enough.
Jerry says: Home Frauds by 6.
Tennessee (3-6) at Miami (4-4) — Fish favored by 6
How's this for a cool accomplishment by the Titans last week? They scored in all the ways an offense can score — 2 touchdowns, a field goal, a safety, a one-point conversion and a two-point conversion for 20 points. Neat, huh? Unfortunately, the sloppy Chicago Bears scored 51.
Jerry says: Fish by 11.
Buffalo (3-5) at New England (5-3) — Patriots favored by 11
Let's make this quick. In Week 4, the Pats pounded the Bills 52-28. Works for me.
Jerry says: Pats by 24.
East Rutherford Jets (3-5) at Seattle (5-4) — SeaTurkeys favored by 6
Did you know Tim Tebow has a 102.1 passer rating? Sensational, right? Granted, he's completed 2 of 3 passes but that just means he needs more work, right? Right? Hello?
Jerry says: SeaTurkeys by 9 unless Tebow gets to throw 40 times. (Then it's 'Turkeys by 20.)
Kansas City (1-7) at Pittsburgh (5-3) - Monday night — Steelers favored by 12.5 and risin'
And then there's this. Can't ESPN sue?
Jerry says: Steelers by 9:45 p.m. or 18, whichever comes first.
You may read all my incredible picks and enter your own picks in the incredible Clear Channel contest at thebeatofsports.com. There's other incredible stuff there, too. Just incredible.
These are the notes, folks
• Speaking of firings, the Philadelphia Eagles should keep Mike Vick but cut his tweet-happy brother.
• NBC's Jay Leno: "According to a report out today the birth rate in the United States has hit an all time low, but to be fair, basketball season has just started"
• You know, those annual London games seem to be working. Here's a thought: Why not play one game a year in Jacksonville?
Disney is making the next Star Wars flick? How much you want to bet it's about R2D2's quest to become a real little man?
Golf in maximum security?
Please read this story because, to me at least, it's fascinating. Deadspin.com republished Josh Begley's great report (originally from Tomorrow magazine) of playing golf on a course sitting next to the maximum security Angola prison, part of the Louisiana State Penitentiary system.
Angola is where more than 75 percent of the 5,400 prisoners are either on death row or serving life sentences. Not a pleasant place, but the golf gift shop sells a T-shirt that reads: "Angola: A Gated Community."
The story says much about our prison system but also says much about how good it can feel to swing a golf club while knowing you will be allowed to leave. Check it out here: http://thesent.nl/W0cymd
Jerry remains free enough to talk Mondays through Fridays from 9 a.m. to noon on The Beat of Sports, hosted by Marc Daniels on 740 the Game radio. He would love it if you checked that out, too. And almost all emails are answered (unless your middle name is "Spam") at firstname.lastname@example.org. Have a great Sunday, especially Jaguar fans who already went through their misery Thursday.