Give up the yacht AND the personal trainer?

WIFE: I can't believe you said those two words.

CEO: Monkey Business?

WIFE: No, middle class.

CEO: I'm sorry.

WIFE: The masseuse? The personal trainer? The driver?

CEO: Honey, it's tough all around.

WIFE: This isn't just cruel, it's bad economics. Do they realize how many people we employ?

CEO: That's another thing. We can't justify six full-time landscapers.

WIFE: Do you expect me to mow 22 acres of lawn?

CEO: At the very least, we may have to switch to illegal immigrants.

WIFE: Honey, they ARE illegal immigrants.

CEO: Speaking of which . . .

WIFE: Don't even think of it.

CEO: Two housekeepers, a cook and three nannies? I mean, the kids are grown and gone. I know the art collection thing is exhausting, honey, but it's not like you've got a job. If we're going to be forced to survive on a half-million a year, we're going to have to make sacrifices.

WIFE: Couldn't we just cut health benefits for the entire domestic staff?

CEO: We don't pay any benefits.

WIFE: Oh my, this is a nightmare. It's, oh, oh . . . .

CEO: Honey? Are you there?

WIFE: I'm breathing into the bag. What am I supposed to tell friends?

CEO: Tell them what I said all along: This wouldn't be happening if John McCain had picked Mitt Romney.

steve.lopez@latimes.com

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