Man of the House

So little money, so much you can do

-- Short-sheet the kids' beds.



-- Short-sheet a ghost.



-- Tell a scary story.



-- Carve a pumpkin in the shape of Henry Paulson's head.



-- Write a note to your favorite Dodger . . . or Cub . . . or Jet.

-- Oil up the baseball glove.



-- Organize your fishing tackle.



-- Take a sick day.



-- Teach your dog to yodel.



-- Share a joke.



-- Say a prayer.



-- Count your lucky stars.



-- Mix the joke, the prayer, the lucky stars. Bake for 20 minutes. Serve hot.

Chris Erskine can be reached at chris.erskine@latimes

.com. For more columns, see latimes.com/erskine.

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