The denizens of the Dan Ryan Expressway can rest easy.
So can those Chicago Bulls fans who need handicapped parking at the Berto Center.
Whenever Andrew Bynum next visits your city, he'll still be safely ensconced on someone else's team bus, just passing through.
The NBA's tallest knucklehead won't be zooming one of his high-end sports cars through the streets of Chicago as a permanent resident after the Bulls acquired and then waived him as part of a trade for Luol Deng. The move saved the Bulls an estimated $20.6 million in luxury taxes, not to mention a number of headaches that also stretches into eight figures.
Take it from someone who has spent the last few years watching Bynum make a mockery of hair salons, bowling alleys and speed limits: He isn't worth backup center Erik Murphy's rookie salary.
Yes, the 7-footer was an All-Star once and helped the Lakers win a pair of championships as a complementary player.
But his shenanigans started long before his knees gave out and he started averaging fewer points and rebounds than the Lakers' current backup big man, Jordan Hill.
Bynum told reporters in 2010 that "it's hard to win when it's five against eight," a thinly veiled criticism of referees that earned him a $25,000 fine from the NBA. Two years later, Bynum said he found something that was easy — closeout games — and the Oklahoma City Thunder proved him right a few weeks later when they finished off the Lakers in the Western Conference semifinals.
Bynum's actions have often been more befuddling than his words.
He earned a litany of citations for speeding, a missing license plate, tinted taillights and crossing a divider and driving on the wrong side of the road. He also infamously parked his black convertible BMW in a handicapped spot.
He's been suspended or fined by the NBA (for a forearm to the chest of a midair J.J. Barea), the Lakers (for events surrounding his taking an ill-advised three-pointer) and recently by the Cavaliers (for generally being a disruption).
Apparently he's a big believer in symmetry.
Bynum liked to ignore rules and game situations, hoisting a three-pointer early in the shot clock against Golden State late in the 2011-12 season. A few months later Bynum took his remaining talents to Philadelphia after the Dwight Howard trade and found trouble somewhere only he could, reinjuring his left knee while bowling.
Bynum never played for the 76ers, but hey, at least fans were treated to a variety of hairdos!
Bulls fans should consider themselves lucky, knowing their team cut Bynum before he could mess with their heads.Copyright © 2015, The Baltimore Sun