Northwestern fullback Dan Vitale

Northwestern fullback Dan Vitale is PUMPED bout the Wildcats' start. And rightfully so. (Nuccio DiNuzzo / Chicago Tribune / September 6, 2013)

Warning: Far too much love being shown in this column.

Disclaimer: It's early, things are still good. Now, the column.

Let's just keep our emotions in check. It's only one game.

But baby, let's dream anyway! The Bears should be 2-0 after this week.

I know his because the Minnesota Vikings and hideous quarterback Christian Ponder visit the lakefront. AND we get to welcome back J'Marcus Webb.

Word has it Mr. Webb has been giving the Vikings some of the Bears' secrets.

First off, I'm not worried. Webb never looked like he had a clue what was going on when he was here, so there's nothing to share.

I do envision this scenario:

Vikings coaches: "Um, J'Marcus, how is it the Bears coaches kept you on their team for like, four years? What were they thinking?"

Webb: "Beats me."

Beats me too, but it's not our problem. Greatest quote: From coach Marc Trestman after the game, deflecting credit: "Sundays are for players."

That means Monday through Friday are for idiots like me. And you!

2-0 after Sunday. Do you miss Lovie Smith? I didn't think so.

Hats off to another 2-0, the Northwestern Wildcats. They've beaten Syracuse and Cal. No cupcakes there. Well done, Pat Fitzgerald. I don't think the rah-rah stuff would work at a football factory like LSU or Bama, but darn it, it works here! Attention shoppers: Do not come looking for this coach. He loves it here! Keep your dirty paws off him!

More love: The Illini are 2-0! My god, this hasn't happened since … oh I don't know, Red Grange? George Halas? I'm too lazy to look it up and so are you! Enjoy it!

Northern Illinois (1-0! More love!) travels to Idaho's tiny Kibbie Dome. Four-hour flight, two-hour bus ride. Moscow, Idaho. Moscow, Russia, would be a shorter trip. Anyway, the Kibbie Dome holds 16,000. It's tiny. They're like the Hickory ("Hoosiers" reference) of college football. I'm saying we go 2-0.

We? That's right. I claimed them too! We're all Illinoisans! It's the Land of Lincoln, and we're all undefeated!

Now THAT never happens. Football. Sure is fun.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.