Through all the Blackhawks' ups and downs this season—OK, they've mostly been ups—there has been one constant: coach Joel Quenneville's fabulous mustache. You can find him on Twitter—@coachqsmustache, of course. The anonymous tweeter—he has no affiliation with the coach or team—took time out of his busy grooming schedule to speak to our very own Bag Boy.
Bag Boy: Stache, a phenomenal start. Which player has surprised you most?
@coachqsmustache: A mustache never picks favorites, you know that. Ray Emery's beard has been invited to my weekly poker game.
BB: Interesting. That's my next question. Some say the goaltending had only been average. Does the ’Stache agree?
Q: I don't agree. You try being out there all by yourself. It's like being a mustache, except on a much bigger lip. My question for you: We open the season red-hot but you're still wearing the bag?
BB: Yes. When I was younger, the Hawks abandoned me, taking games off of TV and not even broadcasting the first period on radio. It's called a fear of abandonment. I have abandonment issues. I honestly didn't know they were back on TV.
Favorite moment on the ice this season?
Q: Yes, by far Friday's postgame scotch with Coach and friends.
BB: Is it me or has Patrick Kane grown up?
Q: Well, according to the growth chart in the locker room he's added half an inch. I'm also announcing that I'm working with him to develop a real playoff beard. Stay tuned
BB: Is there anything about the team that has disappointed you?
Q: No question. I looked at the schedule, and apparently we still have to travel to Columbus this year. I asked Coach if I could stay home for that one. He said no.
BB: OK, a couple more. The penalty kill has been great, the power play very, very good. What keeps the ’Stache up at night?
Q: Honestly, my mortality. I'm not getting any younger and while I once thought Coach and I would win one Cup for each of my hairs, I'm resigned now to a goal of something under 20.
BB: You'll get there, you and Coach. Year 5 in Chicago. How do you rank this as an NHL city? Does it still feel like a Bears town?
Q: Bears town, Hawks town, these are questions I leave to people with too much time on their hands. Instead, I suggest we forge a new alliance and come together to fight the evil forces, whether they be from Green Bay, Detroit or Vancouver.
BB: Great, great idea. You're the Oprah of facial hair. One last thing. A ton of speed, a ton of depth, good experience. You guys aren't going to lose in the first round, I can assume?
Q: I coach the beards, not the players. And if I knew the answer, I'd be a millionaire, living on a beach. Just enjoy the run.
BB: Great advice, though this is Chicago. That's hard to do. Thank you, sir.
Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.
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