The Flip Side

Hair net: Web site lampoons ESPN's Kiper

April 28, 2008

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If NFL draft weekend is a kind of national holiday, then Mel Kiper Jr. is Santa Claus.

Someone decided to create a MySpace page for Kiper. Some highlights:

• "There's a lot of symmetry between a good draft day, and the wonderfully crafted hair on my head - preparation."

• "I go to movies, I predict what previews they're showing and in what order they will air. I go to a restaurant, I predict what order they bring out the food and I tell you whether the waiter is going to be a manager in five years. I'm that good."

• Listed among his enemies: caffeine-free soda. Among his friends: Red Bull.

• A message from fellow ESPN draft commentator Todd McShay: "Those footsteps you hear? That's me coming for your job, Kiper. My TV time was up 15 percent this year."

• From Brady Quinn: "Good luck this week, Mr. Kiper. I appreciate the rubdowns during commercial breaks last year on draft day."

Mr. Flip has never recovered from the low rating he received from Kiper when coming out of college. Apparently it had something to do with never playing football.

(Tip of the Flip to SI.com.)

Spurred on
John and Rhonda Till are native San Antonians and big Spurs fans. So when they couldn't decide on a name for their new son, they turned to their favorite team.

Meet Parker Duncan Ginobili Till, now 2 years old.

Apparently, Mom quickly agreed to the first two names in honor of Tony Parker and Tim Duncan. But she balked at adding Manu Ginobili's name.

But then she had what her husband called "a weak moment" and gave in. Mr. Flip isn't sure whether it's the third name that did it, but the Greensboro (N.C.) News & Record reports that the boy has gotten lots of Spurs-related gifts from the NBA.

Just think how much more he'd have if Mom and Dad had added "Oberto."

Put me in, Prez
With the recent move by Bolivian President Evo Morales, inserting himself into the lineup of a second-division soccer team in his country, Mr. Flip wonders whether Barack Obama, a well-known hoopster, would contemplate something similar should he win the presidency? Think we would see him in an NBA Development League game? And would the Secret Service set picks for him?

Compiled from wire and Web reports by Mr. Flip, who wonders whether he could get a game of one-on-one with President Obama for a year of no taxes.

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Copyright © 2008, The Baltimore Sun

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