1. "I want to call my grandma." -- Vontae Davis upon being told he was traded by GM Jeff Ireland. (In my column today, I called grandma, who didn't appreciate the show)
2. "Stu, I promise I'm getting arrested while we're off,'' Chad Johnson to security chief Stu Weinstein, leaving before an off-day a week before he did get arrested.
3. "7-11 - always open,'' Reggie Bush on WR Chris Hogan.
4. "I got to leave on a high note like George Costanza." -- Coach Joe Philbin on leaving a meeting with the quarterback
5. "My mother's 83 years old -- she's never heard me curse,'' offensive coordinator Mike Sherman said of his language on Hard Knocks.
6. "Vontae, you get your bladder taken care of today?" - Philbin to Davis after he took a potty break the previous practice.
7. "Egnew, you were terrible. I would cut you today if I were the GM. Get your head out of your ass. You're drafted as a high pick, get your s--- going. It's not good enough,'' Sherman to rookie Michael Egnew.
8. "Ankle Weights Wallace" -- the phrase coaches called Roberto Wallace in a meeting.
9. "You watch the tape on Jerry, he's a catastrophe on tape today," adds offensive line coach Jim Turner.
10. "The Chiefs?" Ryan Tannehill trying to name the teams in the NFC East.
11. "I'm getting a little queasy about you. You got to take responsibility for your own career, what you're doing and when you're doing it,'' Philbin to runnning back Daniel Thomas after he was late to a couple of times in four days.
12. "Pat, where'd you and (Philbin) go to dinner last night? I swear to god, I've never seen anything like it. It's the Irish handshake. Philbin. Devlin ... He doesn't even talk to Matt (Moore)," Sherman marveling at how Joe Philbin loves 3rd string QB Pat Devlin.
13. "I think all of us, deep down, have reservations on whether he's a football player or not.'' -- Philbin on Clyde Gates.
14. "That's embarrassing. That's a g----- embarrassment,'' Joe Philbin at half of preseason loss at Dallas.
15. "You look hot as ushhhh,'' Les Brown to girlfriend Jamie Crandall.
16. "I got a text last night from Chad. Eleven o'clock at night. He says, 'I'm open.' '' Mike Sherman a month after Chad Johnson got cut.
17. "Hey, get out of the way. Don't f----- do that,'' Jake Long to Ryan Tannehill after the QB made a block during the Atlanta game.
18. "Third play of the game, Reggie Bush is getting his ass kicked and there's guys f------ standing around watching,'' Philbin says in a meeting critcizing players for not helping out teammates.
19. "I was going to put up something rude, but then I saw the picture of your girlfriend and I felt bad,'' guard Richie Incognito to Michael Egnew after his Facebook account was hacked into because his password was guessed from his jersey number -- 8484.
20. "Charles, I'm telling you right now, I've got nothing to say about you at these meetings other than, he's not doing his job," Sherman talking to tight end Charles Clay in a meeting.
21. "We all have an obligation, we all have a responsibility. He needs to either fall in line or not, it's pretty simple -- Philbin on Johnson's lanaguage.
22. "It's not really last night -- it's just better for both of us if we kind of part ways at this point in time,'' Joe Philbin to Chad Johnson on releasing him.
23. "You've been able to get away with it for a long time. And you can do so much better. ... But you've got to change your attitude, change your ways. One of them is just giving better effort. ... Push yourself. Get yourself in better shape." -- Dolphins DBs coach Lou Anarumo to Davis
24. "You can make a case to get rid of them all. You can make a case to keep almost any of them,'' Philbin on the receivers.
25. "I let the Dolphins down -- I made that bed, have to lay in it. Somewhere along the way, I lost focus,'' Chad Johnson.Copyright © 2015, The Baltimore Sun