"Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd" is so excruciatingly awful, the word "dumb" could sue for slander.
"Dumb and Dumberer" may be the ultimate test of Hollywood's brainwashing abilities: Can New Line, the proud studio behind "The Real Cancun," convince you to see a "Dumb and Dumber" movie that does NOT star Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, was NOT written and directed by the Farrelly Brothers, and WAS co-written and directed by the guy who made the horrid snowman movie "Jack Frost"?
Will you abandon all common sense to watch two relative unknowns, Eric Christian Olsen and Derek Richardson, turn in grating high school-age impersonations of Carrey's Lloyd and Daniels' Harry? If so, you'll suffer through a cringe-worthy story in which a scuzzball principal and his dim gal pal (a slumming Eugene Levy and Cheri Oteri) try to scam grant money by starting a bogus special-education class with Harry and Lloyd as the first two recruits.
I could rant on, but my brain cells have worked hard enough. Instead, here's a quiz to test your "Dumb" smarts:
Which of the following "gags" actually appear in "Dumb and Dumberer" and which came off the top of my head?
1. A doctor, while trying to deliver baby Harry, cries out, "He bit me!"
2. Harry sits on a radiator in a girl's room, burns his butt, melts a chocolate bar in his pants and, upon trying to clean up in the bathroom, makes such a nasty brown mess that when the father sees it, he yells that the room is covered in poo.
3. Harry and Lloyd drink Slushees quickly, get brain freeze and drool all over themselves.
4. Lloyd fantasizes a cute high school girl and Harry's mom in a pool having a splash fight and "makeout contest" before he passes gas underwater.
5. A Chinese student is named Ching Chong, apparently because of her funny accent.
6. Lloyd tries to feed Harry romantic lines through a window a la Cyrano de Bergerac but then starts talking to a neighborhood dog, causing Harry to ask the girl, "Do you want me to pat your head?"
7. Harry and Lloyd absentmindedly pour gas all over and inside a car, which subsequently explodes.
8. Lloyd's dad tells him to get a haircut, so he takes a bunny to the barbershop.
9. Harry sits on a toilet seat coated with Superglue and must give a presentation to the whole school with the seat hanging off his butt.
10. Lloyd glues the contents of Harry's messy bedroom to the floor, causing Harry much embarrassment when he tries to clean up before a sexy girl comes over.
11. Harry fills a Raisinettes box with hamster droppings, and Lloyd eats them, never noticing the difference.