For most of us — despite our heroic efforts — life isn't perfect.
Isn't it comforting, then, to sit back in a comfy chair, turn on the television, watch a commercial and learn that there's a product out there that will solve the very problem that's vexing us at that moment.
Perhaps it's a jabbing, grabbing bra that is giving us fits. Or the low-rise jeans that show a plumber's crack/muffin top every time we bend over. How about the smile that's just not white or bright enough?
"As Seen on TV" products offer solutions to so many of the things that are bugging us. That's why they're so popular.
What woman who has ever yanked at the underwire digging into her flesh wouldn't be thrilled by a garment that will put an end to "the barbaric torture of your bra" (Ahh Bra, ahhbra.com).
Or the bra "all women wish for" that makes you "look lifted and younger instantly" (Genie Bra, geniebra.com).
Moving north, how about a cure for that dingy smile without all the muss and fuss of bleaching trays, dental visits or whitening strips? Who wouldn't go for a "whitening pen" that can work its magic "in as little as two days" (Finishing Touch Smile Tooth Whitening Pen, finishingtouchsmile.com)?
And finally, if you "love those low-rise jeans but hate when your bottom is seen," here's a solution that promises "no more peek-a-boo panties" (Trendy Top, gettrendytop.com).
All of that — four different products — for a total cost just under $56! A small price to pay for perfection, right? Or, is it money down the drain?
This is another in a series where I buy As Seen on TV products so you don't have to. I put all four of these items to the test to see if they lived up to the hype. Professional skeptic that I am, I was prepared to hate them all. But I didn't.
Finishing Touch Smile Tooth Whitening Pen, $9.88
The promise: "The easy way to whiten teeth and keep them white!"
What they don't tell you on TV: Can cause temporary tooth sensitivity; don't expect dramatic changes.
ELLEN SAYS: Forget it. You'll need a healthy imagination to see much improvement.
Trendy Top, 2-pack $10.88
The promise: "It covers your rear view and exposed belly when wearing low-rise pants."
What they don't tell you on TV: It rides up a little so you'll have to pull on it occasionally.
ELLEN SAYS: Love it. Really solves the problem.
Ahh Bra, $14.88
The promise: "Total comfort guaranteed"
What they don't tell you on TV: Smushes your breasts like a sports bra but without the support. If you're looking for uplift, forget it. Quite comfortable; I only had to yank on the band occasionally. Wrestling into it (it's all one piece) isn't easy.
ELLEN SAYS: A bust, don't bother.
Genie Bra, 2-pack, $19.88
The promise: "No more back fat … No unsightly top bulging ... The most comfortable, conform fitting bra you have ever worn"
What they don't tell you on TV: It would take a miracle, not a bra, to eliminate back fat. You really need to pay the extra $1.99 for the light pads that create an attractive, uplifted silhouette.
ELLEN SAYS: Yes! Almost painless support. Much better than the Ahh Bra. Pads are a must.Copyright © 2015, The Baltimore Sun