** (out of four)
Obvious statement of the day: Dumb criminals are funny.
Once the ordinary Joes in “The Babymakers” become dumb criminals—in service of robbing a sperm bank—the movie transforms from a low-impact comedy with too many loose ends into a likably absurd mini-riff on “Ocean’s Eleven.” That is, if Danny Ocean was a schlub who was attracted to large melons on the cover of a food magazine and desperately needed to recover his only remaining functional sperm.
Co-starring and directed by suburban Chicago native Jay Chandrasekhar (“Super Troopers,” “Beerfest”), “The Babymakers” stars Paul Schneider (“Lars and the Real Girl”) and Olivia Munn (“Magic Mike”) as Tommy and Audrey, a married couple struggling to conceive. He’s sure his boys can swim. After all, he financed Audrey’s engagement ring by secretly donating to a sperm bank—20 times. Now, though, Tommy’s sperm can no longer get it done, eventually resulting in the crackpot robbery scheme with Tommy’s pals (Kevin Heffernan, Nat Faxon) and Ron Jon (Chandrasekhar), a supposed former member of the Indian mafia.
There are a few really good laughs in “Babymakers,” particularly when Ron Jon hatches a plan that requires a very conspicuous parking lot concert to cover the noise involved. Frequently the script from Peter Gaulke and Gerry Swallow (“Ice Age: The Meltdown,” “Black Knight”) settles for gags like Tommy accidentally turning up the volume on a porn movie featuring two women and a horse or Wade (Heffernan) observing that there aren’t any gay fat guys (not true at all). Then it gets worse when Wade slip-slides around a room after an unfortunate incident with drums of semen and a rickety shelf.
A movie can crack you up a few times, but after a scene like that it's tough to remember much else.
Watch Matt on “You & Me This Morning,” Friday at 6:55 a.m. on WCIU, the U
Copyright © 2015, The Baltimore Sun