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'I Don't Know How She Does It' review: Yay, selfishness!

Sarah Jessica ParkerPierce BrosnanI Don't Know How She Does It (movie)

* (out of four)

Working moms absolutely deserve all the credit in the world. What they don’t deserve is a movie that represents these hardworking women with frazzled mother-of-two Kate (Sarah Jessica Parker). This walking sitcom stuffs a double-digit number of balloons into a crowded elevator and accidentally sends an email about oral sex to the high-powered investment colleague (Pierce Brosnan) whose sexual innuendos Kate oddly shrugs off. This adaptation of Allison Pearson’s novel laments the world as a boys’ club without the slightest perspective on the progress that’s been made or thoughts on how far is left to go. Cutesy voiceover and shallow characters vapidly addressing the camera only slow down an already endless, painfully predictable film that’s a few mentions of purses and closets away from being a “Carrie Bradshaw: 7 Years Later” spinoff. “I Don't Know” ostensibly means to celebrate what it takes to be a full-time mom and full-time something else, except Kate's an insincere, non-communicative visitor in her family life, caring more that she missed her son's first haircut than how he handled the experience. I’m sure someone will tell me that I can’t understand all this until I’m a parent, or that I simply won’t because I’m a man. Regardless, what I will never understand is how anyone is charmed by the ever-artificial Parker’s frozen gaze, the look that appears in every movie whenever she wants to express, “Can you believe that astonishing thing that just happened?”

Watch Matt on “You & Me This Morning,” Fridays at 7 a.m. on WCIU, the U

mpais@tribune.com

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