Letter: Three (sarcastic) cheers for the new Columbia Wegmans

Hooray! We finally have a Wegmans in Columbia! I can't wait to fight the Saturday morning zombie hordes on the streets of the SnowDobbin shopping megalopolis.

I'm so glad the government of one of the most desirable retail markets in the country lacked the willpower and/or vision to force them to build in a place that needs an anchor store and is properly zoned, such as the Wilde Lake Village Center.

I look forward to trading obscenities with "Choose Civility" types as I navigate the bowels of the parking garage. I'm eager to spend hours scanning aisle after aisle of 16 varieties of stuff I don't need and never finding the one thing I came for. And after I've done it in the normal half of the store, I can repeat the whole process in the gourmet section and still never find it.

Last, but not least, I'm salivating at the prospect of filling up a big clamshell of steaming mediocrity for $8 a pound, elbowing my way to a camouflaged cash register, and stumbling upstairs to eat...by which time my steaming pile has become tantalizingly lukewarm.

I have no idea how I survived all these years where my only option was something called "Harris Teeter." As if the pleasant, courteous service weren't bad enough, I typically only get to spend 10 minutes at a time in the store ... definitely not enough bang for the buck. The problem is that they have everything I want and they put it exactly where I expect it to be. Starbucks Doubleshots in the coffee aisle? What kind of maniacs are they?

The location is absolutely awful too: it blends too perfectly into the Columbia landscape. I guess they didn't have the arrogance or undeserved reputation to coerce the zoning board into letting them build in the unplanned and overcrowded location of their choice.

The only thing keeping it from being 100 percent perfect for Columbia is that it's open 24 hours. That really sets a bad example given that all Columbians should do everything at exactly the same time as everyone else.

Greg Bush

Town Center

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