Everyone knows that if you win the Super Bowl, you go to Disney World.
But if you're a wildly unpopular governor, looking for a pocket of sycophants, where do you go?
Yes, with new poll numbers showing that Rick Scott is one of the least popular governors in the United States, ol' Rick headed back to his political security blanket: The Villages.
Sure, only 29 percent of Floridians think Scott's doing a good job. But a whole bunch of them live in the conservative retirement community.
In "America's friendliest hometown," you are free to shortchange public schools and gut the state's environmental-protection program. The crowd will still go wild.
You can even veto $12 million for homeless veterans and $3 million for the Wounded Warrior Project — just a few days before Memorial Day — and everyone will cheer.
"It's always — and always will be — a beautiful day in The Villages," Scott told the supportive crowd.
What do these folks care?
They've already been through public schools. Many already enjoy their pensions.
So now Scott is free to go after everyone else's schools and pensions … as long as he also cuts taxes and leaves their Medicare alone.
Scott did just that Thursday. He signed the very budget that cut funding for public education — which is already below the national average — by more than $1 billion.
I would love to have seen Scott try to stage that budget-signing inside a public high school.
But Scott is not that stupid. Or that brave.
Instead, he selected something akin to President Barack Obama delivering the State of the Union in Chicago.
The Villages has always been a sanctum for conservative politicians.
The mostly white, wealthy and conservative enclave has been a sanctuary for everyone from George W. and Jeb Bush to Sarah Palin and John McCain. The development's founder, Gary Morse, even lets the GOP use his private aircraft for free.
But the difference between Jeb Bush and Rick Scott, who has visited The Villages more than a half-dozen times, is that Bush had the courage to interact with real people more regularly.
Now, admittedly not everyone in The Villages is a Scott disciple. (With a 29 percent approval rating, you're going to have a tough time finding universal support anywhere outside your own bedroom.)
I hear from plenty of readers — Republicans and Democrats — who enjoy The Villages' many amenities without enjoying a thing about our governor.
In fact, some of those very folks actually tried to see Scott on Thursday. But they weren't allowed in. Deputies ordered members of The Villages Democratic Club to go across the street. And the Miami Herald reported that Scott staffers "scoured the crowd and had sheriffs deputies remove those who wore liberal-looking badges."
It didn't matter whether the protesters were showing up to support schoolteachers or veterans. Dissenters were silenced.
Scott's problem, though, is that dissenters are getting more numerous by the day.
The governor seems to realize that, which is why he started trying to reinvent himself Thursday.
After vetoing projects for universities, the environment and veterans — things Scott described as "frivolous" and "wasteful" — he then called on legislators to redirect the money to schools.
It was a con for the ages.
Anyone paying a lick of attention knew that it was Scott himself who had called for the biggest school cuts in Florida history (after promising he would not).
And yet now — after legislators followed his orders — he was going to try to blame them?
Yes, indeed. His staff even unfurled a banner that read: "Less Waste. More for Education."
Even House Speaker Dean Cannon called out Scott on this flagrant fabrication. "The budget we sent him funds education at a higher level than the Governor recommended just a few months ago," Cannon said.
Scott's posturing was obvious malarkey.
But no one in The Villages seemed to care.
The crowd simply cheered and applauded in front of another banner that Scott's team had unfurled — one that read: "Promises kept."
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