Tax Day approaches, and Plan Ahead is here to give you great tips on filing.Instead of picking the default return for business clothing, itemize each object for a more hefty return. Example:
"The Orlando Wastewater Bureau" does not count as a charitable organization no matter how many "donations" you've flushed its way. (Unless, of course, you enclosed it in the proper envelope.)Technically, that flip out you had when you did peyote at the company Christmas party can not be filed as a business "trip." But that flight to Mexico where you picked it up can be.Dollar bills stuffed into strippers' g-strings are deductable as business expenses, but you do need a receipt for each or at least the phone number of the dancer for verification in the case of an audit.When sending in the tax forms, slip a crisp twenty in with it. This will assure you won't get audited. If that doesn't work, slip in the number of that stripper.
- leather studded-collar -- $24.95
- zebra-striped codpiece -- $55.99
- rubber-ball mouth gag -- $27.50
- full latex gimp suit with mouth zipper -- $350.00
Now when you get that juicy return, you can thank Plan Ahead for the help.
Here are some good Music tips:
Fridaymegaphone CD release party -- or is it seedy release party?The Kills -- careful with that axe, EugeneKing Diamond -- either a pimp or a metal act
Saturday OK Go -- what happened to Ready, Set?Fall Out Boy -- radiation-rock therapyThe Bamboo Kids -- hollow howlersTsunami Bombs -- washing up at the SocialSunday Playground Heroes -- like that kid that used to eat the bugsZakk Wylde's Black Label Society -- Ozzy's guitarist presents heavy metal
Irish Handcuffs is the head on your draft beer.
The Set List -- fill blender with bands, add sarcasm, hit frappe
Want to find out who's spinning vinyl? Check out our DJ events.
Comedy: Colin Quinn takes obnoxious comedy to the next level
Sports events Watch the Orlando Predators vs. New York Dragons. Pure testosterone. The NCAA Women's National Collegiate Bowling Championship -- babes with big balls
Theater events:A Midsummer Night's Dream -- more fairies than a gay-day paradeThe Maitland Spring Arts & Fine Crafts Festival -- none of those cheesy crafts here
Miscellaneous events: -- hot bodies, both vehicular and humanThe Florida Film Festival -- Screw you, Hollywood!A Taste of Oviedo -- hmmm, it tastes like rampant overdevelopmentThe Orlando Cabaret Festival -- Do, re, me, fa-bulous
Plan Ahead also provides legal advice. Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun