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Crime & Punishment: Rob Zombie Unhappy With Local Skate Park

America got one step closer to winning the War on Drugs when a court cleared the way for the federal government to seize the Waterford home of one-time medical marijuana growers Seth and Beth Marder. The couple told The Day they used cannabis to treat Seth's bipolar disorder and Beth's Lyme disease. They grew it lawfully in their native California until 2005 when they moved to be near Beth's terminally ill father. In 2009, feds raided their home and found a batch of pot plants. Though the Marders say they grew it strictly for personal use, Seth was hit with a three-year suspended sentence and the government moved to seize their $200,000 home, arguing "a substantial connection between the property and the offense." After losing a court fight, the couple say they don't know where they will live after marshalls take the home on Aug. 16.

Rob Zombie has been scaring audiences for decades, as a solo artist, as the scowling, hairy frontman of shock rock band White Zombie and as the director of such gruesome horror flicks as House of 1,000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects. So what keeps Zombie up at night? Dang kids causing a ruckus with their skateboards, apparently. The blog CT Boom reports that 48-year-old Zombie has complained to Woodbury officials about a public skate park near his 18-acre property. His wife, Sheri Moon Zombie (that's right; she took his stage name), attended a town meeting in June to complain that the skate park is "a significant noise pollutant and has reduced the quality of life." The Zombies have successfully petitioned the town to curtail the park's hours. All of a sudden, Alice Cooper's golf outings don't seem so lame.

Better late than never: In October of 2007, Rafael Oliva of Norwalk allegedly took his boss's van without permission and crashed it into utility pole in Darien. At the time, he allegedly had no driver's license and a blood-alcohol level twice the legal limit, having reportedly consumed 30 beers that day. Despite the seriousness of the alleged offence, police did not get around to obtaining an arrest warrant for Oliva until May of 2008. Though he lived one town over, they then apparently made little attempt to find him. Almost six years after the incident, Olivia, now 28, was finally charged with it last week, due to a routine warrant check, when he appeared in court on a domestic violence charge, reports the Darien Patch website.

A Scranton, Penn., man attending Bridgeport's Gathering of the Vibes festival tried to go for a naked, late-night swim in the Long Island Sound, reports the Connecticut Post. Deeming this particular bit of outlandish, possibly drug-induced behavior beyond the norm of the annual event, security personnel called in city police. According to a police spokesperson, Joseph Straub then "ran around the campground area at full speed" and then "squared off as if to fight" — all while totally nude. Police subdued Straub, 30, with a Taser. He was still shirtless for his mug shot.

When he arrives before the Pearly Gates someday, God will definitely want a word with Andy Duran. The accused burglar's MO is breaking into churches and stealing from collections, police told the Danbury News-Times. Duran, 33, is suspected in thefts from one church in Bethel and three in Danbury, including one he allegedly ransacked twice. He has good reasoning: Duran reportedly told police that one heist was for money for "juice and cigarettes" and another was to afford rent and cable TV (God's wrath obviously being a small price to pay for "Game of Thrones").

New London Mayor Daryl Finizio demoted a firefighter after he and his wife were arrested on charges of shoplifting from the UConn Store. On a visit to the Storrs campus, grown-ass adults Rocco and Jaqueline Basilica allegedly tried to make off with a handful of UConn mementos without paying for them, reports The Day. Between the two of them, they reportedly took three key chains, three T-shirts, a pair of socks and a plastic cup worth a total of $106.92.

Emergency dispatchers received a 911 call from a terrified 10-year-old boy in the back of a Mercedes Benz fearing that his drunk father was about to crash the car. His dad, Owen Gilman of Warwick, R.I., then did ram the vehicle into a Jeep on I-95 in Stonington, police told The Day. This father of the year candidate then reportedly failed field sobriety tests as the boy and his 12-year-old sister were treated for cuts and bruises.

Middletown police were called to the Main Street Market due to reports that an angry man had doused a street musician with soda. Franklin Brown however said a crack in the sidewalk caused him to trip and spill a few ounces from his liter bottle of Coca Cola onto the singer/guitarist, reports the Middletown Patch website. Brown, 55, was charged with breach of peace.

Fairfield Police are searching for a burglar who entered a home and stole cash and jewelry as the resident family slept, reports WTNH. Surveillance video shows he is a tall, heavyset man with a full beard and robbed the home while barefoot and wearing a turban-like piece of headgear (seriously).


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