Mark your calendars: The end is near
Warnings abound on the Internet. The end is near -- with fewer days left than shopping days for Christmas. The certainty of the end of the world as we know it is prophesied by the Mayas.
Doomsday warnings are based on the Mayan calendar ending on Dec. 21, 2012. Like just about now. Calendar ends. World ends. Simple logic.
Don't believe it? That's your problem. Survivalist groups are preparing for what could be left at the end of our so-called civilization. They stock up on guns and groceries, especially guns to kill off other survivalists.
It's all President Obama's fault.
With all those stimulus funds, why didn't Obama spend to create a new Mayan calendar?
Why did he never raise the issue of the calendar and thus the world ending on Dec. 21? Sure, dodging the issue enabled him to win a second term. But what good is a new term in a new year that won't arrive?
Usually when a calendar ends, like at the end of a year, you have a new one, starting again with January. Now it's too late. If only the Mayas had been hired to draw up a new one back when their calendar marked their Fourth of July holiday.
Obama fiddled with taxing the super rich while the days burned away on the Mayan calendar. He never proposed a cent for a new Mayan calendar to carry us through this year of doom and beyond.
Well, Donald Trump and other enlightened conspiracy theorists know why. Obama was born not an American citizen, but in the Mayan empire. As a Mayan believer, he will not tamper with their sacred calendar.
Republicans also cannot escape blame.
Did Mitt Romney ever warn during the campaign about the end of the Mayan calendar? No. He just warned about Big Bird.
Does John Boehner warn even now about going over the Mayan cliff? No. He still blabbers about a fiscal cliff that won't mean a thing after Dec. 21.
Paul Ryan did show some sense. He proposed a budget eliminating Medicare as we know it. Smart move. After Dec. 21 there won't be many, if any, older citizens around to seek medical care.
Doubts about the dire prophesy? Here's proof:
The government denies the world will end this year. And you know you can't trust the government.
Federal bureaucrats at NASA actually put out this statement: "The world will not end in 2012. Our planet has been getting along just fine for more than 4 billion years, and credible scientists worldwide know of no threat associated with 2012."
Ha! First, they have the date of creation of the world all wrong. And then they cite "credible scientists."