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NewsOpinionReaders Respond

Of Maryland laws and robocalls

Freedom of the PressRobert L. Ehrlich Jr.

Here is a poetic take on the recent robocalls, the "Schurick Doctrine" and the prosecution of Paul Schurick and Julius Henson for their efforts on behalf of Robert L. Ehrlich Jr. that I've entitled, "As Schurick and Henson may (or may not) see it."

Schurick, Henson,

Henson, Schurick,

Can they help it if they knew,

Who would win and who would lose?

What's the sin in deceiving those

most likely to feel ecstasy,

That the heavens rained, like confetti,

The giddy smell of victory,

On the chosen one called O'Malley?

Clairvoyance is a form of art,

Perfected over many years.

All that Schurick-Henson did

was unleash this gift with robocalls.

Bearing offerings of praise,

The ancients bowed to oracles.

What do we do in Maryland?

We dress them up in manacles,

We throw the book at them we do,

And call it a crime to articulate,

What oracles know with certainty,

In a matter of minutes will come true.

RoboDelphiDial.com,

We should warm to it with reverence,

In a world gone nuts with rectitude,

Especially in these troubled times.

Its bromides are vital to tranquilize

Voters confused by democracy.

To emphatically state otherwise,

Is nothing more than "idiocracy."

The Schurick Doctrine was written to soothe

Folks weighted down by nasty guilt

When they want to avoid the polling booths

And the misadventures of citizenship.

Is it any worse than what we boast

As the Monroe Doctrine in history books?

Those who would fall for such gobbledygook,

Should they be let off the hook?

Should they be called suppressed and duped,

Frustrated, excited, thrown for a loop?

Whatever happened to freedom of speech?

Suppression can be a two-way street,

Does Robocall have a right to speak?

All the way to the Supreme Court,

The Schurick Doctrine must wend its way,

The right to connive is written in our laws,

It's number one among our rights!

The founding fathers

will shudder in their graves,

That Schurick's mental agility,

His merry caper and chicanery,

Were taken oh, so seriously,

In stuffy twenty-first century,

As a crack in solid democracy!

This is not a case of subversion,

Nor a case of suppression,

This is a case of Robocall's

First Amendment violation.

Maryland, my Maryland,

RoboDelphiDial.com,

We should swarm to it with reverence!

Usha Nellore, Bel Air

Copyright © 2014, The Baltimore Sun
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