2:00 PM EST, January 27, 2013
On Thursday, Carroll County Commissioner Haven Shoemaker, who has quite possibly the most ironic first name since Roscoe P. Coltrane named his Basset Hound "Flash" (Dukes of Carroll?), said, "Throughout our history, we have had waves of immigrants coming to this country and they have all assimilated to use a common language, and I think that's why we've become the world's leading superpower." ("Carroll names English its official language," Jan. 25.)
Let's be honest. "Official language" is really a euphemism for keeping Carroll County as homogeneous as possible. "Have all assimilated" didn't happen quickly, but it did happen, and the fact that any level of variance has been achieved required a particular kind of American patience, usually found when compassion and tolerance were the only options not expended, that have, for better or worse, made us ideological superiors of global factions who despise our willingness to amalgamate and incorporate. The tenuous cable our superpower status is currently tethered to is an alloy.
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