Happy Thanksgiving 2013. Let us give thanks for the food we are about to eat, the wine we are about to drink, the football game we are about to watch — Ravens versus Steelers, NBC, 8:30 p.m. — and the couches on which we are about to snore.
May we be truly grateful for a great many things ...
That most of us do not have Julius Henson's chutzpah problem. It's so bad, he probably needs to see a doctor about it. Convicted of violating state laws for his role in a vote-suppressing scheme during the 2010 Maryland election, Henson is now running for the state Senate. My diagnosis: swollen chutzpah gland.
If you have decent health insurance through your employer, or Medicare, and you do not have to face all the inexcusable problems with Healthcare.gov and Maryland's insurance exchange.
That you can afford a computer, a smartphone, access to the Internet and email. Be particularly grateful for the "send later" button; it has prevented a lot of us from saying stuff we probably shouldn't say, and kept more than a few of us employed.
And Chris Davis gave us all those home runs.
And Adam Jones proved that a guy can achieve greatness and chew gum at the same time.
And let's give it up for Manny Machado's OMG play at third base. Extra thanks to the trainers and doctors who are taking care of him.
I'm thankful that the Ravens have won two Super Bowls in 13 seasons, while the Colts have won one in the 29 seasons since they left Baltimore.
Joe Flacco has a lot to be thankful for: Even before winning the Super Bowl and getting that big contract, he got the Haribo endorsement and, one assumes, all the Gold-Bear gummi candies he wants for the rest of his life.
I am grateful that I was able to see the voracious feeding of 40 cedar waxwings in a holly tree, the afternoon hatch of the Drunella grandis fly on a Pennsylvania trout stream, and the frantic flight of a squirrel out of my trash can when I pulled off the lid.
I'm grateful that Baltimore beer is available in growlers again.
Let's show some appreciation for the police officers of Baltimore — the professionals who, despite ample opportunity to become demoralized and jaded, are still committed to making the city safer.
Be thankful for the farmers' markets and the grocers who have expanded shopping opportunities for city residents — despite the bottle tax.
Be thankful that most of us contribute something to society besides snark. Thank yourself for not becoming an angry, mean crank who posts anonymous personal attacks against others on the Internet.
Let us continue to be grateful for the tools and amenities that have made modern life more convenient, efficient and tolerable: the flush toilet, the weed whacker, GPS and SaladShooter.
I'm not app-happy, but I'm grateful for Tune-In, which seems to get me just about any radio station in the galaxy.
I want to thank Pandora for introducing me to some great music I might not otherwise have heard.