I note with great displeasure in your June 27 edition that we are again going to put on a hot dog-eating contest in Granville Gude Park to celebrate the Glorious Sixth.
According to the Centers for Disease Control, 60 million Americans are now obese, and I am certain I could shed a few pounds. At the same time, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, 15 percent of families in America suffer some "food insecurity." Yet we are going to encourage people to gorge in public until they are sick, for our entertainment, or to honor America, or whatever. If anyone is unfamiliar with what goes on in these gruesome spectacles, ask Wikipedia, and scroll down to "Chipmunking."
But lest my creeping curmudgeonliness deprive anyone of their future Independence fun, may I suggest next year we put on a pie-throwing contest. It wastes very little food, especially if shaving-cream pies are used, and no one has to vomit in the gutter. Charge $25 a throw, to benefit the Laurel Advocacy and Referral Services. If I am in town on that day, I volunteer to be the target. With all the enemies I have made over this issue, we'll make a fortune.
City of Laurel