From the tragedy of their husband's and fiance's deaths a strong friendship is formed

Survivors of two slain Harford County deputies talk about the first year without them

Jenn Logsdon and Aimee Grebe didn't know each other before Feb. 10, 2016.

It took the tragedy of Jenn's husband and of Aimee's fiance, both Harford County Sheriff's Office deputies, being shot and killed in the line of duty to bring them together.

In the aftermath, the two have become closer than close, laughing together, crying together and, at times, finishing each other's sentences.

They look at each other and know what the other is thinking, then they'll burst into laughter.

It's one of the good things that's come from the deaths of Senior Deputy Patrick Dailey, Aimee's fiance, and Deputy First Class Mark Logsdon, Jenn's husband, who were shot to death by David Brian Evans a year ago Friday at the Boulevard at Box Hill Shopping Center in Abingdon. Evans, a drifter who was estranged from family members in the area, was killed by the police after he shot the deputies.

"Jenn's been a great source of comfort to me. She gets it. She understands," Aimee said. "People can say they understand, but they don't. Jenn is truly the only one that understands."

The past year

Much of the last year was a blur for Jenn and Aimee, particularly the days and weeks following the deaths of the two deputies.

"It's been a roller coaster, up and down," Jenn said. "It's hard having my daughter and Mark's children and trying to be there for them and trying to still heal on your own. That's really hard."

It's been a roller coaster for Aimee, too.

"Some days are good, some not so good. Some days you can laugh, some days you cry. It's day to day. Some days I'm a good mom, other days it's horrible," Aimee said.

She and Senior Deputy Dailey were together for eight years, the last four during which he asked Aimee daily to marry him. She said "no," she wanted to wait until Senior Deputy Daily's two sons were through school.

Then Senior Deputy Dailey made plans to retire, and Aimee agreed that once Tyler Daily, the youngest brother, graduated from high school in May, they'd get married.

Jenn and Aimee said they have made it through the last year by learning to rely on others for help, not only physically, but also emotionally.

"Through the support of folks like this girl here," Jenn said, putting her hand over Aimee's.

"Every single day is different. You eventually have to learn you can only cry so much, you can only hurt so much and that you have to put your pants back on and go back to some sort of life," Jenn said.

Aimee said she has learned that she's stronger than she thought.

"You don't know what you can do until you're put in a position that you have to do it," she said. "You have to plow through the day. As much as I'd love to stay in bed all day, every day, it's just not feasible."

Aimee has two boys, Daylen, 17, who's in the culinary program at Harford Tech, and Parker, 14, in the biomed program at Bel Air High. And she works – she started her own graphic design business over the summer.

The two women say they also have realized what's important to them.

"It's not about myself, it's about life in general. Life is too short to just take life for granted. I used to work 60, 70, 80 hours a week. I'm not doing that anymore," Jenn said. "I want to have fun, do new things, enjoy life because you never know when it stops."

Work is no longer at the top of Aimee's priority list, either.

"Family and friends, that's what we focus on," she said.

Both of them will ask for help, if they need it, which is something both have had to learn how to do.

"I'm not good at that," Aimee said.

"We're both horrible at it," Jenn added. "We're both learning to ask for help."

"You have to accept the fact that you need emotional help to go to the counselor or go outside and scream and it's OK," she said.

Jenn laughs at some of the "dumb things" she's tried to do on her own, like paint the basement and put furniture together.

Both women said they have grown closer to their respective families in the past year, too.

"My own family is closer than we've ever been," Jenn said. "My siblings have stepped up to help and be there for me and for my parents. We're just a lot closer than we've ever been."

Aimee is one of six kids and they always did things together. Now, they all ask each other frequently if everyone is OK, if they need anything.

"We have a group text and I'll get 25 responses. But I wouldn't have it any other way," she said.

Look back, move on

One of the things that's been difficult for Jenn to handle is seeing the son of the man who killed her husband.

Jenn, who works at Textron Systems, the same place as Jeremie Evans, the son of David Evans.

"I have yet to talk to Jeremie. I see him. We both make brief eye contact and go the other way. I think I need to eventually deal with that for my healing. Normally after I run into Jeremie I want to get sick," Jenn said. "I understand Jeremie didn't have much to do with his father, but it's still a constant reminder."

Jenn said it's difficult, but she's glad Evans is gone and especially that they didn't have to go through lengthy court proceedings.

Aimee, too, isn't upset Evans was killed.

"It's not very Christian-like to say, but I'm glad he's gone," she said. "I don't know if I would have been able to handle it if hadn't been."

Jenn and Aimee are both overwhelmed that a year after the shootings, there's still so much response from the community.

"For me, sometimes, when I'm trying to heal and, I don't want to say forget, but when I'm trying to get myself together and be in the community just like everyone else, someone realizes who you are and it rips that Band-Aid off again," Jenn said.

"People mean well and we're grateful, but we just want to go somewhere and be regular," Aimee said.

The community support was evident by the response Aimee received to a tribute she created honoring Senior Deputy Dailey and DFC Logsdon.

"I did it for me and Jenn, as my own tribute, for no reason," she said.

She made decals of the sheriff's shield, that's blue, black and white. It bears the names and badge numbers of Senior Deputy Dailey and DFC Logsdon and the date they were killed. And it says "Heroes Live Forever" over an American flag background.

Because of the interest from her friends, however, Aimee decided to make more decals, with the proceeds going to the Police Unity Tour in May, which Jenn is training for.

They also will have a fundraiser for the unity tour Saturday at The Deck in Edgewood, where Jenn will be handcuffed to a chair until $2,500 in "bail" has been raised to set her free.

A new friendship

After DFC Logsdon's and Senior Deputy Dailey's deaths, both women were overwhelmed by the number of people wanted to talk to them, hug them, comfort them.

At times, they didn't know who was who, "so I'd hug everybody," Aimee said.

Shortly after the deputies' funeral services were over, Jenn was heading to South Carolina for a concert and asked Aimee to join her, not thinking she would.

"But she showed up in my driveway in a big floppy hat and that was it," Jenn said.

"It was a click. It really was instant," Aimee said.

For six to seven months, until each of them went back to work, Jenn and Aimee spent virtually every day together.

"We talked about what we each were going through, how she was coping, the dynamics of her side and me and my side," Jenn said.

When something happens like what happened to Senior Deputy Dailey and DFC Logsdon, "people get crazy," Jenn said.

"The things you hear and see, that are said about you, it's amazing, interesting," Aimee said. "We talked about and laugh about those things."

Their friendship has grown from being about what they both have endured to being about themselves and realizing they have a lot in common.

They go to concerts, Ravens games, Orioles games and they text each other frequently.

"We don't spend a lot of time talking about either of them anymore," Jenn said.

Except on days like Wednesday, when Aimee said she was having a "horrible" day.

Jenn went over to Aimee's house and the two of them sat there and talked.

"We talked about how we're going to get through the next couple days together," Aimee said.

The anniversary

"This week is hard. And it's like living it all over again," Jenn said. "Going here, going there, the ceremonies. It's like groundhog day all over again."

Both of them will be at the Friday remembrance ceremony at the memorial to their fiancee and husband, then have lunch afterward.

"The rest is...," Aimee said.

"Whatever," Jenn finished.

Jenn approached the anniversary as a way to honor her late husband. Her nails are painted blue and she wears blue and black bracelets. Her house in the Upper Cross Roads area of Fallston is decked out in blue lights and ribbons.

"It looks like you could land an airplane in our yard," Jenn said.

"I'm trying to make it more of a celebration, because that's a really bad word. Instead of trying to be sad, I'm honoring who he was as a person and remembering him, everything he did. He died a hero, they both did. I'm trying to put some positive, to remember, honor and celebrate his life."

Aimee, on the other hand, hasn't given the date much thought.

"I really haven't done anything. When I wake up I'll figure it out. I don't want to dwell on it because it's not here yet," she said. "I do what I do every single day. I get up, work, do the kids and when Friday happens I'll just figure it out then."

Jenn and Aimee both said, however, that it's hard to fathom its already been a year since DFC Logsdon and Senior Deputy Dailey were killed.

"I can't believe it's been a year," Aimee said. "I personally can't believe I've made it a year without Pat."

"It's definitely made us both stronger people," Jenn said.

"Because we have to be," added Aimee.

"We have children, we have to be strong for our children, and for Tyler and Bryan [Dailey]," Jenn said. "So yes, a year's gone by fast."

Their children

Jenn's daughter, Megan, who's in school at University of Miami, is struggling with her stepfather's death, probably more than anyone, Jenn said, because she went back to school just a few weeks after DFC Logsdon died.

"Mark was her dad. Her dad's her dad, but Mark was her dad," Jenn said.

He taught her how to ride a bike, how to swim, how to shoot a BB gun.

Now that he's not here, Megan doesn't want to come home.

"This isn't home anymore because Mark's not home," Jenn said. "I know being a mom, it's like I lost both of them. I lost both of them at the same time.

Jenn said she wanted Megan to come home this week, but she's not. They're working on things though, to get back to where they were and "trying to figure out stuff."

Aimee's sons miss Senior Deputy Dailey.

"He treated them like they were his," she said.

He would take them where they needed to go, they'd hike together, spend the night at his house, attend re-enactments.

"My kid treated him the same way, very respectful," Aimee said. "They just had a bond that I was very glad to see."

Her boys got along well with Senior Deputy Dailey's boys, too.

When they did things together, "I was way outnumbered as the only girl. I didn't mind it, it didn't bother me."

Aimee is still close to Bryan and Tyler Dailey, especially Tyler, who she said is a lot like his dad.

"He's the spitting image," Aimee said.

Tyler will come over and hang out at Aimee's house for a few hours at a time, hoping for a good meal or maybe crashing on her couch for a few hours.

"I love when he comes over. But it's kind of heart-breaking at the same time because it's Pat," Aimee said. "So when he leaves, I just feel like that's it, there goes Pat."

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