Maybe the best couple of hours in sports television: Jim Palmer doing color commentary with Gary Thorne on MASN when Daniel Cabrera pitches for the O's. It's like listening to a retired Hopkins professor commenting from the upper gallery of a surgical amphitheater while one of his students, now a doctor himself, performs below - we hear all about his protege's limited diagnostic skills, his sophomoric understanding of human physiology, his poor choice of surgical instruments, and his unwillingness to use the change-up.
At a recent Orioles-Angels game at The Yard, I sat in front of four schmoozers, including one woman with a shriek-like laugh, who never talked baseball the entire evening and were oblivious to the game going on about 100 yards away. They stopped talking only when a foul ball off a Toronto bat beaned a boy nearby. Once that drama ended, they went back to yakking
Over two hours, they spoke about the following: How nice the Baltimore-Washington Parkway is; the best way to get to the airport; life in Linthicum back in the day; cars in the era before seat belts, and what it was like sleeping in the back seat of dad's big sedan; their favorite wines; a wine shop in Baltimore and how helpful they are there, especially with the cabernets; shopping for antiques, the hotel one of them stayed in the last time he was in Baltimore.
If the Orioles established No Schmoozing sections, they'd sell them out every game.
All you guys in the 'burbs with the sprawling, treeless lawns and the gas-burning John Deere tractor-mowers: Maybe next year you'd consider buying a tiller attachment and planting a garden?
Faux-baronial lawns would be much more productive if converted to family gardens. (Instead of a "victory garden," it could be a "mission accomplished garden.")
Your carbon footprint would be smaller, and you'd probably reduce the family food bill. Hell, you could even start selling cukes and 'lopes curbside, and pay the mortgage on time. That wouldn't be a bad thing, would it?
Dan Rodricks can be heard on "Midday," Mondays through Thursdays, noon to 2 p.m. on 88.1 WYPR-FM.