When the Giants and Patriots take the field on Sunday in Indianapolis, they won't be doing battle in soft leather helmets with no face masks. And there definitely won't be some kid on the sideline ladling out water from a tin bucket to quench their thirst after a big play.
So, if the Super Bowl teams have embraced emerging technology, why shouldn't you?
Sure, you could just sit there staring blankly at the screen, scooping salsa out of the jar with your fingers and saying, "Hey ... wasn't that ... what's-her-name?" after every surprise celebrity commercial appearance. But the tech and Web worlds want better for you.
Here are five techie tools that can help make you an all-pro couch potato on Sunday.
1. Official mobile app
The NFL has rolled out an app for the big game for both Apple and Android mobile devices.
Included are some features that would be most useful for people actually attending the game, such as real-time traffic and parking information and, perhaps most importantly, directions to the nearest restroom in Lucas Oil Stadium.
But any football fan can get some value from other features, like "NFL Huddle," which pulls together social buzz about the game.
And here's good news, particularly for those who shelled out for tickets, travel and hotel accommodations in Indy -- both versions of the app are free.
2. Apps for the all-important commercials
If you're one of those folks who wouldn't know BenJarvus Green-Ellis from Osi Umenyiora, you're probably more excited about what happens during breaks in the action. The mobile world has not forsaken you.
Both "Super Ads: Super Bowl Commercials" and "A+ Super Bowl Commercials" bring all the best blockbusters ads from the Super Bowl together in one place (for iOS users, anyway).
And as the new ones roll out, you can be among the first to decide what worked and what didn't. USA Today's popular Ad Meter will be whirring in real time and can be accessed either on the paper's website or its mobile app.
3. Google's Game Day
What good is being able to seemingly find any piece of information in the universe in a mili-second if you don't use it to share awesome guacamole recipes and the average hang time of NFC punters?
Google wants to chart your Super Sunday from wakeup to hangover with Game Day With Google. On a single page, users can get real-time information ranging from how to prepare party snacks to what to expect from Madonna's halftime performance.
OK ... so this one isn't going to be a new discovery to anyone reading this post. But in case you haven't already invited the Twitterverse along to one of your Super Bowl gatherings, you're missing out.
In short (and that's Twitter in a nutshell, isn't it?) the site is tailor-made for big events like championship games, awards shows, political speeches and the like. We assume you're already following lots of smart and funny folks. Make sure you have Twitter pulled up on your tablet or smartphone and take a quick look to see what the most popular hashtags for the game are.
Then, let the commentary begin. Just don't act surprised when the commercials get more Twitter action than the game itself.
5. An obscenely large TV
It won't matter how good the game is -- or how clever the commercials are -- if your guests can't see the action in all its glory, right? So maybe it's time to spring for a new TV.
There are many nice options out there. But, may we humbly suggest the Panasonic TH-152UX1?
For starters, it has a 152-inch, 3D-compatible plasma screen. That's the equivalent of nine 50-inch screens stacked on top of and alongside each other.
Be warned: It does weigh about 1,200 pounds, so make sure the wall you're mounting it on is fairly sturdy.
And then, of course, there's the price tag. It debuted early last year for about $500,000. But we bet it's dropped a bit since then. So grab us one while you're there. Or ... on second thought, it would be lots cheaper to fly to Indy and pay outrageous scalpers' prices to see the game in person.